Blind Chance
by BeneziaWillLive
Summary: What if…Benezia lives to warn everyone of the Reapers? In this prequel to a possible ME AU epic, A Pre-ME1 shepard saves an OC Asari from danger—losing her sight in doing so. The only cure is…problematic! Unbeknownst to everyone in 2169, Shepard's treatment changes Benezia's fate in 2183—and the Galaxy's? The Reapers are coming after all…Need co-author for events past August 2170.
1. Attack!

**April 27, 2169 - The Citadel Presidium**

It was a bad Saturday for Sigren Shepard. Her mother, Major Hannah Shepard, Chief of staff to the Systems Alliances' naval attaché to the Citadel Council had been surprised by being told to attend meetings all day. The unfortunate change in Hannah Shepard's schedule meant that their plans to go to the rapidly growing colony at Bekenstein had to be cancelled. Most of Sigren's little circle of friends from the small mostly Human prep school she attended on the Kithoi ward were busy; those who weren't had come down with a nasty reaction to something that had been served for lunch the day before.

With nothing to do after her morning run around the presidium Sigren decided to sit on a bench near the Consort's famous establishment in hopes she would see someone interesting either entering or leaving that most mysterious of places.

Little could Sigren know the profound impact on her life and that of Sha'ira's most prized acolyte this choice would have. She also couldn't foresee that she would become the subject of more reports from the duct rats who usually watched the Consorts front door to the Shadow Broker and other interested parties than anyone else in Council Space. Even if she had foreseen everything that would happen, Sigren would soon say and repeat many times, that she would not have done anything different if faced with the choices she would take over the next few minutes.

The first inkling of something going wrong was a sudden sharp explosion some few hundred meters away. Sigren didn't choose to run toward the noise. She knew that being caught investigating the blast would ensure that her mother would double her PT for at least a month.

Apparently most of the beings nearby didn't have mothers who believed that a month of thrice-weekly 20 kilometre runs alternating with two hours of daily calisthenics were an appropriate punishment for throwing oneself into potential danger. Although many did run away from the blast area itself, most crowded inward to see what happened.

More small explosions soon followed and the citadel sky was lit by the glow of fireworks.

The rapidly growing tangle of hundreds of curious beings a short distance from Sigren drew the attention of a number of C-SEC officers, who began doing their best to chivvy people toward the wards and away from the light show. By distracting the officers the masses of citadel denizens kept them from seeing an air-taxi drop right in front of the steps leading to the Consort's front door. Sigren, however, did see the car and more importantly, the pair of heavily armed Batarians inside it.

In spite of her best attempts to quietly draw the attention of the nearby C-SEC officers to what was happening behind them, none of the officers paid attention to the tall, unusually fit, fifteen year old Human who instinctively understood that making a scene could be more dangerous than doing nothing.

Moments after their arrival at Sha'ira's front door, the most beautiful Asari Sigren had ever seen came walking up the path from the Presidium gardens, diaphanous robes fluttering around her.

It wasn't immediately apparent to Sigren that the incredibly graceful Asari was the Batarians' target. Only after the heavily muscled driver got out of the car, solid-looking club in hand, did she realize that whoever the beautiful oxford-blue Asari was, there was extreme danger for her here.

Sigren knew instinctively that if she raised the alarm too quickly, the Batarians would claim she was falsely accusing them of bad intensions. Waiting too long meant they would likely be successful in harming the gorgeous Asari before C-SEC could do anything to stop them. If Sigren tried to stop them, there was every risk she would share the fate of the stunning Asari who gave every indication of unknowingly walking into what looked like a very dangerous trap.

Sigren had been taught that bad people only succeeded in evil when good ones didn't do anything to stop them. She had no choice but to act.

Knowing the hand-to-hand combat training she had received since she was five years old would probably give her a momentary edge over kidnappers who wouldn't expect a young Human girl to have potentially deadly moves and be ready to use them, Sigren rose quickly, hastening toward some of the topiaries that decorated this section of the Citadel common. Hopefully the greenery would give her the cover she needed to get close enough to throw a wrench in the Batarians' plans.

The marine trainers her mother had gotten to sharpen Sigren's skills had told many a story about how time does crazy things when getting ready for a fight. Sigren had never believed them until today.

Knowing that using it was a long shot, she activated the silent alarm on her Omni tool in hopes that it might notify her mother in time for her to get help. By the time that was done and she had moved from her bench to the first bit of cover, the Batarian was only yards away from his helpless prey.

With three bushes, and seemingly hours of crawling, to go before she could intervened directly, Sigren quickly realized her only way forward was to forget stealth and simply lower her shoulder in hopes of catching the enemy off guard.

With luck she'd be able to grab the heavy handgun sitting all-too-temptingly on his lower back. If she could get that at least she could put a shot into the asshole still sitting in the passenger seat of the taxi and draw attention from Sha'ira's staff to help Sigren and the Asari dressed as a Consort's acolyte as well.

Sigren knew from things her mother had said over the dinner table that the Consort took safety seriously but that she trusted C-SEC with external security. With C-SEC distracted, there was no hope for either Sigren or her potential co-victim without help from inside Sha'ira's facilities.

So, her job in the next fifteen seconds, other than putting down at least one Batarian, would be to make enough noise to get the attention of Sha'ira's commando-trained Asari guards who would be more than able to handle a couple of assholes out to kidnap one of the acolytes they were sworn to protect.

That thought in mind, Sigren uncurled like a deadly spring, literally leaping over the bush behind which she had been hiding. While normally her 182cm height would have been an embarrassment to the fifteen year-old girl, today it was a gift from the gods.

Sigren's long strides quickly brought her to the Batarian who had just raised his club in preparation for a knock-out blow.

Just as he swung, the slim-yet-curvy Asari seemed to realize her danger, desperately ducking in hopes of evading the blow. It was obvious, even to Sigren, that although the Asari with the huge silver eyes might be one of the consort's acolytes, she didn't have any self-defence training at all.

Sigren, on the other hand, did have such training. Her two-handed chop on the back of the Batarian's partially protected neck succeeded not only in minimizing the injuries the Asari would otherwise have taken but also stunned him just long enough for Sigren to grab his heavy pistol, spin and make a flurry of off-hand shots toward his car-bound companion. Sigren was just able to see that at least one of her bullets caused her target's skull to explode, putting him out of the action…permanently.

Only after a brief moment of pleasure at her successful takedown did Sigren realize that her right hand and wrist were likely broken by their impact on the Batarian's armoured collar. This was a problem in two respects. First, she was right-handed. Second, her target now knew well that she was there and he was on her right side, making her far less able to defend herself against his forthcoming counter-strike.

The mechanically enhanced blow, when it came, caught her in the ribs, likely fracturing a couple of them.

Grunting with the pain and more than a bit of surprise Shepard spun around, hoping to use the Batarian's pistol as an ersatz club.

Unfortunately, with the pistol in her left hand, the blow lost much of its potential force.

The one positive that came from the move was a glimpse of the slender Asari running to safety through the consort's front door.

The next thing Sigren knew she had an angry Batarian wrenching her broken wrist up behind her back and a knee pile-driving into her kidneys.

The pain was incredible.

"Fucking little Human cunt!" he roared, barely audible over her anguished scream.

"You just cost me five million credits and I'm going to take every single one of them out of you."

"Screw you," she grunted, struggling to relieve the pain in a wrist that was going from broken to shattered as her captor twisted it fiercely.

"Yes," the Batarian snarled….The rest of your life that's exactly what you're gonna do….every minute, every hour….every day….every week…." He said, wrenching her wrist just that little bit more.

"Not fucking likely," she grunted, whipping her free hand up and clawing it into his unprotected face.

"Oh, I think it's very likely," he grunted, avoiding her fingers by smashing his head into her left ear.

"Actually," a sharp voice said from nearby, "I think you would be well to release the young Human."

The Batarian jerked in surprise and Sigren, recognizing an opportunity when she saw one, smashed her head back against his shoulder, twisting ferociously in hopes of a quick escape.

She almost succeeded but his grip on her rapidly fragmenting wrist was just enough to keep her from fully breaking away from him.

However, before he rewrapped his arm around her waist, she was able to see that at least half a dozen Asari commandos were standing in a loose ring around them.

"Fuck!" snarled the Batarian, twisting Sigren's wrist violently.

The pain from this latest insult was so intense that Sigren nearly lost consciousness.

When she fully came back to herself, she realized with horror that although he'd let her wrist go, he now held the club-like weapon she'd seen him preparing to use on the Asari she had rescued.

The weapon she had thought was a club was actually a high-output Batarian stun baton now hanging, ready for use, only inches from her unprotected face.

Sigren had been shown a wide variety of alien weapons in preparing for her family's transfer to the Citadel. She knew that had she been free to do so, the best thing to do when faced with one of these horrific weapons was to run like hell.

The device in question was used by Batarian guards to torture slaves, its output more than sufficient to leave permanent burn scars after the first use if the injuries weren't treated right away.

"You failed in kidnapping acolyte Sithana," the lead commando said quietly. "There is no benefit to anyone in causing further injury to the Human."

"Pain to non-Batarians is always a benefit," Sigren's captor snarled. "Hurting Humans is just that extra bit sweeter."

With that, he activated the baton and drove it into Sigren's face. The blue-white sparks the weapon generated were the last thing she would see with her own eyes for many months.

* * *

 **A/N Re: this chapter,** for the purposes of visualization, Sigren is a young Taylor Ritzel (US rowing) with appropriate changes in hair and eye color. At this stage of the story, Sithana is played by Katie Holmes.


	2. Choices

**Thanks to my reviewers, favoriters and followers.**

 **Also, thanks to Bioware for not coming after me because I forgot to say in chapter one that the Mass Effect Universe and its places and characters aren't mine.**

 **A/N Warning: this chapter contains potentially ethically uncomfortable discussions and decisions. More on this at the end of the chapter.**

* * *

 **April 29, 2169 - Rm 2172, Huerta Memorial Hospital**

Sigren Shepard's Saturday was bad. The next forty-eight hours were so awful that her body chose to skip them entirely. When her body was ready to let her check in with the outside world, Sigren quickly discovered that this particular Monday was going to be equally unpleasant.

The first indication Sigren had that her life had undergone significant change was the utter darkness that greeted her when she came back to consciousness. She knew she was conscious because she could feel the sheets and mattress of a bed under her and hear a regular tone nearby. She could also feel two different people holding each of her hands where they lay on top of the blanket covering her.

The first sign her companions had that she was awake was the sudden tightening of her fingers on realizing that she could see absolutely nothing.

Sigren had always been a little afraid of the dark, often sleeping with a night-light at home when she was little, happy to replace that here on the Citadel with the night-level light on the Presidium where her family's apartment lay.

"Are you awake?" her mother's voice asked quietly.

"Yeah," she groaned. "Why's it dark?"

"Oh, Sigren," her mother sighed. "Always like you to ask the hardest questions first."

There was a short silence while, Sigren suspected, her parents had one of those silent conversations that were so common in their relationship.

"Well, my tough one," her father's voice said, "before we get to that, I want a report on what you remember from Saturday."

From *Saturday?* was Sigren's first thought.

"Um, what day is it now?"

"Monday." Her mother said quietly.

"Oh," Sigren said, shocked. "Where am I?"

"Huerta Memorial."

"What happened?"

"Your report first, cadet," her father reminded her sharply.

"Um, sure." Sigren said hesitatingly. "But I thought you were out in the traverse patrolling some of the colonies?"

"We were, but when a man's daughter is involved in a major incident on the Citadel, his captain sends his XO home for a few days." he said in that voice that told her she'd not win by delaying.

"Well," she said quietly, "I did my morning run and stopped on the presidium to look around for something to do since everyone was either sick or busy."

"Uh huh?" said her father.

"I was sitting on a bench out front of the Consort's place, hoping to see someone interesting there."

"Did you?"

"Not at first," Sigren said quietly. "But then there was some kind of explosion or something and then some fireworks."

"Hmmmm." Her mother said. "And then?"

"I saw this Asari walking toward the Consort's building. She was so gorgeous," Sigren said softly, smiling at the memory of the beautiful sight.

"And," her father said.

"Some Batarians came in an air-taxi and one of them got out. He had a club or something and was headed straight for the Asari."

"And?"

"I tried to flag down C-SEC and sent mother a message on the com but C-SEC was distracted with the explosions and fireworks and all of the people running around."

"So?"

"So I thought I should do something to help the Asari since no-one else seemed to be paying any attention."

"And?"

"I tried to get close by using cover but there just wasn't time."

"So?"

"I charged the Batarian with the club tried a double knife-hand on his neck; broke my right hand and then he grabbed me." She said, now somewhat less sure of what had happened after that.

"Do you remember what happened after that?" her mother asked in as gentle a voice as Sigren could remember hearing from either of her parents for a long time.

"Not really," Sigren said quietly, just flashes.

"Then it becomes time for me to thank you for saving my acolyte from a capture team sent by one of the Batarians' leading warlords." Another feminine-sounding voice said from a little further away.

"Ma'am?"

"I am Sha'ira, Itara, or consort as you would say in your language. My acolyte Sithana owes you her freedom and very likely her life."

"Um," Sigren said, embarrassed that the consort herself had obviously been sitting vigil by her bedside. "I'm glad I could help," she murmured after some thought, knowing she must be blushing horribly.

"You did help me indeed," a soft voice said moments later. "I thank you very sincerely for saving me from a long and terrible fate."

"Like I said, I'm glad I could help," Sigren said, horribly embarrassed that the Asari she had called gorgeous had heard her report to her parents. In fact, she was so embarrassed by being overheard by the woman she had rescued that it took her a moment to realize that everyone was evading telling her why she couldn't see.

"Now, can someone tell me why I can't see anything?"

"The Batarian drove his branding baton into your eyes. The doctors say the electrical charge destroyed your eyes and that some of the shock went down your optic nerves. They say your visual cortex is overloaded. They're afraid it may be permanent. We won't know for several weeks until either the doctors think you're ready for artificial eyes or replacements can be cloned. It will ultimately be your call." Her father said in that emotionless voice that Sigren knew meant he was either very frightened or very angry.

"So I'm going to be permanently blind?" Sigren asked, voice rising in response to a wave of unmitigated terror.

"It's possible," her mother said softly.

"And the best way to test is by putting in new eyes and seeing if they sync up with my brain? "

"That's what the doctors we've seen so far told us," her father said gruffly.

"Commander Shepard, as I was about to tell you before Sigren woke up, Acolyte Sithana believes there may be an option that will assure complete recovery," another business like voice with an accent much like that of her father and grandparents rang out from the foot of Sigren's bed.

"Yes, Dr. Chakwas?"

"Before I speak to that, let me introduce myself to my patient. Sigren, Dear, I'm Karin Chakwas. I'm a military surgeon whom Ambassador Goyle and Counselor Tevos asked to consult on your case. I'm sorry I wasn't here when you woke up; we had an emergency with another patient. With medical coverage for you here I had to take that call."

"I understand, doc." Sigren said quietly. "Now what is the other thing you mentioned?"

"If you will allow me, dr.?" Sithana's voice reentered the conversation.

"Of course, dear; it was your suggestion after all."

"Sigren, "As I think you know, we Asari are able to link minds with other beings."

"I thought that was for having kids?"

"Bonds are needed for reproduction, but there are many other ways we can connect to others' conscious minds. Before I came to learn from Mistress Sha'ira, I was trained on Illium to become a healer, the Asari equivalent of a Human physician. Although injuries like those you took in protecting me are rare, occasionally they do happen. The only 100 percent effective therapy for the condition is to have a healer or sometimes an itara link with the patient for several hours a day to transmit visual impulses that are used, along with drugs like those Humans use in repairing nerve damage, to retrain other parts of the brain to supplement the functions of the visual cortex while it is rehabilitated and new eyes are manufactured or cloned."

Sithana paused for a moment, seemingly collecting her thoughts.

"I have already spoken with Asari physicians here at Huerta Memorial. They say Human brains are similar enough to the Asari central nervous system to make me believe the technique should be helpful to you. They can teach me how to perform the needed link if you and your parents are willing."

"Are there any risks?" Hannah Shepard asked quietly.

"Unfortunately, there are many." Sithana said softly. "As with any therapy that has never been tried in a new species, there is always a chance that this idea won't work. A link of the intensity and duration needed may well give Sigren headaches since the Human brain doesn't perceive colors in the way Asari brains do. If they occur, I can help with these either through getting prescriptions from Dr. Chakwas or mental techniques that I can teach Sigren through our link. Sigren may come to see colors and motion in the way Asari do once her eyes have been replaced but this is hard to predict beforehand since this therapy has never been tried on a Human before."

Sithana drew in a breath before continuing.

"There may be some fairly serious emotional problems for one or both of us after such intensive mental contact. There is still very little published experience of Human-Asari mind links on this level and certainly none with procedures like this. That said, from what I have been able to learn I think this is Sigren's best chance to fully recover not only her sight but also the ability to interpret the images her new eyes will transmit to her brain."

"Emotional problems?" Sigren's father asked sharply.

"We do our best to avoid using this procedure in Asari medicine because the healer and patient often become emotionally interdependent as they literally spend far more time in a close link than bonded couples do, even at the beginning of a bonding. Neither of us will be able to avoid sensing each other's thoughts and feelings. As I am older than Sigren there will be some impact on her psychology due to the closeness of the connection between two individuals at different states of maturity for our species."

Sithana paused briefly, seemingly deciding how to continue.

"The healer can become too emotionally involved in the patient's welfare and there have been cases in the past that resulted in long-term pairings between healers using this technique and their patients. Furthermore, deep links to Asari at comparable levels of maturity to Sigren are almost unknown today because of the problems they caused long ago. I will try to avoid connecting too deeply but Sigren is a powerful spirit and I can't guarantee this won't happen, particularly given my thankfulness to her for saving me."

"Could we ask another healer or consort?"

"My mistress has been doing just that and so far none is willing. I, too, have sent out inquiries but so far no one is willing."

"And if we don't try this procedure?"

"Sigren will either be blind for the rest of her life or, in all likelihoods, not have normal use of whatever sight she may recover." Chakwas said gently. "Because of our success in treating blindness today, it is very likely that Sigren may have trouble being independent due to the lack of adaptive technology specifically for the blind today. Even if she is, it is very likely that many career paths will be closed to her and others will be far harder for her to break into. We just don't have enough people with incurable blindness now so technology she would need in order to be self-sufficient would literally have to be created. Unless we are very skilled in developing those tools, Sigren's physical state will be apparent to anyone who sees her. Furthermore, even if she does recover most of her sight, I can't guarantee she'll regain enough of it to join the SA military which I understand has been her goal for quite some time?"

Sigren nodded and assumed her parents did too. After a moment, Chakwas continued speaking.

"…Loss of sight caused by damage to the visual cortex is rare—as is blindness of any kind. We normally don't see problems like Sigren's. When we do they are usually caused by a very specific type of stroke. We are usually able to help through more traditional visual exposure and neural regeneration therapy, but both require that the patient have eyes that work, at least a little bit. As things stand, there are only two or three cases a year like Sigren's out of the millions of potential incidents in our population. We have excellent procedures to repair the kinds of ocular damage that soldiers take but this usually doesn't impact brain function. Age related vision issues that frequently had neurological complications were mostly either preventable or curable by the late twenty-first century, but Sigren's symptoms don't have all of the same causal factors and neurological indicators that strokes or age-related vision problems had in the past. Given the damage to her eyes and injury to her brain, I would normally be very concerned about Sigren's ability to be physically and financially independent but this treatment may be a game changer for her. We're still learning about Asari medicine and if Sithana thinks this technique will work I think we should take her ideas very seriously."

"Even with the risks she mentioned?" asked Sigren's father, in an unusually cool voice.

"Yes, even so." Chakwas replied flatly. "Emotional issues are treatable with psychological assistance; Sigren's blindness or diminished sight will almost certainly affect her life in ways we can't easily ameliorate."

"You saved me from a fate few would wish on their worst enemies," Sithana said quietly, long, slender fingers touching Sigren's face for the first time. "This won't be easy for either of us but it is your best chance for a full recovery. I will joyfully dedicate myself to your assistance however long this takes because I have no other way to thank you for saving me from what we believe was a kidnapping attempt that would probably have led to several hundred years of pain and torture."

"OK, "Sigren said quietly, embarrassed by Sithana's gratitude and also by the thought of letting someone into her brain so much. The need for a full-time caregiver for the rest of the school year and maybe a lot longer was also uncomfortable. Other questions started crowding in as well. "How long will all of this take? And how bad could the headaches be?"

"As I understand things, cloning new eyes and so-forth will take quite some time. It will take longer for the newly grown cells and tissues to get used to doing their jobs. Is that right, Dr. Chakwas?"

"It is," Chakwas confirmed.

After a moment, Sithana continued to speak.

"If we go through with this treatment, we will need to be in mental contact at least half of your waking day for the entire time your new eyes are being grown and fairly frequently for some time while they get used to doing their jobs. I will monitor your pain through our connection. If it becomes too bad I will either work with Dr. Chakwas to prescribe appropriate medications or assist you with meditation and other techniques that Asari commandos use to control their pain when they must."

"So you'd have to go to school with me and run with me for pt and stuff?"

"I don't know enough about your schools and your lifestyle but I would probably have to be with you for most of the things you normally do during your waking day. What do you think Dr. Chakwas?"

"I would think you'll have to go with her to school and assist her with whatever other activities you can as well. After all, she will need help functioning at home too. As you said, you'll be spending a lot of time together and I'll want daily assessments of Sigren's physiological and psychological state."

"Of course, Dr."

"Then, Sigren, I think you need to make the decision." her mother said.

"Can we discuss this briefly amongst ourselves? Her father asked sharply.

"Of course," said Dr. Chakwas before the sound of several people moving out of the room came to Sigren's ears. When the other people in the room had departed her father spoke first.

"I'm not sure I'm comfortable with this treatment."

"Why not, John?" demanded Hannah Shepard.

"Sigren is going to be in close mind contact with someone who is only about two steps above a camp follower. What is she going to get from that woman?"

"Hopefully the chance to see," Sigren's mother said sharply. "Would I rather that someone else could do this? Yes. Am I uncomfortable with the obvious risks to Sigren and, for that matter, Sithana that this treatment poses? Absolutely, but I don't see we have a lot of other choices. Dr. Chakwas says all of the other treatments may lead to Sigren losing some or all of her sight and possibly being blind. She's wanted to go into the military ever since she understood what we do. If this treatment will allow her to keep that dream then I think we have to try it."

"There are other careers, other things she could do in the civil service."

"Mother, Father, as I'm fifteen years old and almost ready to test for my driver's permit, maybe I should have some input on this?" Sigren interrupted angrily.

"I think that would be appropriate," her mother said at the same time her father drew in a breath.

"I always wanted to go into the Marines. I like being active, the training and everything else I've been doing for years. If Dr. Chakwas is right, there's a really good chance I won't be able to do those things. I may not even be able to hold a lot of other jobs either because I can't do them or people won't let me try. The thought of being connected to an Asari's mind like that is pretty scary, but Sithana seems like a nice lady. She was a doctor before she started working with Consort Sha'ira so she's smart and probably not some hooker on Tenth Street in Vancouver. Also, she seems to think she has some kind of debt to me and so I don't think she's going to hurt me if she can help it."

"She may not hurt you intentionally, but there are a lot of things in that head of hers that I'm not ready for you to be exposed to yet."

"Like what?"

"Do I really need to spell it out for you?"

"I'm fifteen, not five. "Sigren said petulantly. "I've been hearing about sex and stuff from the embassy guards and my trainers ever since we came here last fall. Even without them, there's the Extranet and kids at school. Trust me; I know as much about sex as anyone who hasn't had it yet can."

"There's a big difference between seeing whatever you've seen and being directly exposed to another person's memories of sex as you would be in a link with that Asari."

"Every link with every Asari Humans have met up to now would have included memories like that if Asari couldn't control their minds better than you are implying." Hannah Shepard said sharply.

"Maybe so," John replied equally determined. "But how many of those links were with handpicked representatives?"

"A lot at first but there are already many registered marriages between Humans and Asari. None of the Humans who have been interviewed about those relationships have ever said that they get floods of uncensored memories of their partner's sex with Elcor."

"All right," John sighed. "I can see that I'm outvoted here, but I do want the fact that I'm uncomfortable with all of this to be on the record."

"So am I," Hannah said more gently. "But just because I'm uncomfortable with it doesn't mean that I don't think that this is the best of a bunch of bad choices. If worse comes to worst and they do end up making a bonding of some kind, we just have to remember that this isn't much worse than the arranged marriages that some Earth cultures still engage in. In some ways its better because we know Sithana feels deeply indebted to Sigren. Not only that but I'll be here watching very closely as things progress. So will Karin and the ambassador, and lots of other SA people."

"OK," sighed Cmdr. Shepard. "I'm still not happy with it but, Sigren, you are right. You are old enough to have the deciding vote here."

"Since it's the only way for me to get back to ship-shape and hopefully join the Marines, let's go for it."

* * *

 **A/N: Discussions like that which the Shepards had already happen in medicine all the time. They will become infinitely more common over the next few years. Eighty percent of people who are blind are unemployed as of today's posting. I know many blind people who would go far to change it if they could, particularly if the loss of sight is due to traumatic injury and so harder to "adjust" to. If you are uncomfortable with the topics in this chapter, that is a good thing. If you don't like the decisions taken, that is your choice but many people would choose differently and given the option to do so, many would argue they have the right to do this much as you have the right not to like their choices.**


	3. First Steps

**Thanks to all of my reviewers, favoriters and followers.**

 **Thanks also to Bioware for the Mass Effect universe and its characters. Anything and anyone you don't recognize from the game is probably a result of my own ruminations and experiences.**

* * *

 **May 6, 2169 - Front entrance of the Systems Alliance School, Kithoi Ward, and The Citadel.**

It took several days for Sigren to be released from Huerta Memorial. Baselines for her linked and unlinked neural activity had to be established. Sigren also needed time for the injuries not related to her ability to see to heal fully. Not only that but her family needed to be moved to larger temporary quarters to accommodate Sithana and the commandos Sha'ira and Counselor Tevos decided were needed to protect them from retaliation by the Batarian warlord's remaining friends and family. Sigren's parents had wanted Marines but once they realized just how intimate the link was, they decided the commandos would be the best option because too many young soldiers would speculate too openly about what was happening between their daughter and the Consort's favorite acolyte.

In time, they hoped that the Alliance would buy one of Sigren's ideas which was to get at least one N-7 level soldier to liaise with the commandos so that the Alliance could learn more about the command, control and skills of the vast number of trained personnel hired by the Asari upper class. Fighters that the Alliance military would classify as "irregulars" but whom the SA had little experience of working with as yet.

All that was known was that as things stood, the Asari Republics had regular forces at least ten times as powerful as the SA military and that there were potentially tens of millions of commando-trained Asari who weren't members of the Asari forces who might be called to support their front line combatants. These highly skilled fighters had biotics—which Humans didn't have until less than 25 years ago—and tens or hundreds of years of military-style training and experience. They could potentially be a tremendous addition to Asari war-fighting capabilities. The SA believed that the Asari had the potential strength to match or exceed the Turian war machine which, despite revisionist protests to the contrary, had nearly crushed the SA Navy during the First Contact War.

The Shepards immediately turned Sigren's idea into a recommendation to their superiors. It was moving up the chain of command and, subject to further bureaucratic wrangling, a few candidates were being considered. Unfortunately, there was no guarantee the Alliance would be willing to dedicate a precious N7 officer to Sigren's protection. There were simply too many stakeholders involved and too much politics to be sure that someone with that rare skill set would be made available.

Sigren's therapy was going tolerably well. The headaches caused by trying to visualize things Sithana imaged for her via the link had been bad but, with a mix of pain killers prescribed by Dr. Chakwas and techniques she was learning from Sithana, they were slowly getting better. Along with the headaches, it was still emotionally uncomfortable for Sigren to have someone else in her head, particularly someone whose inner beauty, she now knew, was as the sun when held against the candle that was her outer perfection.

The counseling sessions Dr. Chakwas had prescribed were helping with the psychological impact of the link to Sithana and the effects on Sigren of the realization that she had taken a life. Although the Batarian represented a severe danger to Sithana and Sigren's actions were easily justifiable for this reason, he was still a thinking being and taking his life was hitting Sigren hard. Sithana couldn't help with these feelings as a counselor because she was far too closely involved in the situation. So, Sigren was seeing a Human counselor daily along with an Asari mind healer recommended by Sha'ira. It was already clear that Sigren's psychological treatment would continue for several months at the very least; probably for a year or two. Sithana used the time during Sigren's counseling sessions to forward twice-daily reports on Sigren's neurological state to Dr. Chakwas and the staff neurologist at Huerta Memorial. Unbeknownst to the Shepards at the time, Sithana was also in regular touch with Sha'ira trying to find ways to maintain emotional distance and, so far, failing badly.

After realizing just how much she was being affected by this amazing Human girl, Sithana now knew why this particular therapy was considered a last, desperate, resort by her teachers in the Asari equivalent of medical school. Hopefully she would be able to maintain enough distance to keep them from developing a full pair bonding by the end of Sigren's treatment but as bright, adventurous, strong, open, curious, driven, deep, and caring as Sigren was, Sithana feared a bonding was almost inevitable.

* * *

"Are you ready for this?" Hannah Shepard asked as the embassy car's door opened to let Sigren and Sithana alight onto the steps at the entrance of Sigren's school.

"Not really," Sigren said with a small grin for her mother and a squeeze on the hand she had to hold at all times in order to keep the visual link open between herself and Sithana. "I don't know if anyone can be ready to walk into a school full of Human teenagers with six Asari commandos while holding the hand of an Asari maiden whom you literally can't let go of for at least ten hours a day."

"True enough," Hannah said. "I'm proud of you for making this choice. We could have home-schooled you but, as you always do, you're taking the hard path in front of you with the strength of a Shepard."

"Thank you, mother." Sigren said quietly. "Let's see how we feel about this after everyone responds to the Asari invasion."

"It won't be that bad." Hannah said bracingly. With Sithana and half a dozen commandos trailing Sigren everywhere she went, some people at the school would feel there had, indeed, been an Asari invasion. Hopefully by the time the next school year was under way, Sigren would either be cured or C-SEC would have tracked down the Batarians who continued to threaten her daughter and the Asari healer/consort on whom Hannah worried her daughter was becoming too emotionally dependent. Now to get through the first day of what would surely be six difficult weeks before the end of Sigren's school year.

"Your teachers have been specifically instructed to say as little as possible about what happened to you or about Sithana's work. Much as we Humans have become more accepting of sex workers over the last fifty years, we know talking about Sithana's career around a bunch of teenagers guarantees disaster. People know what she does from the news stories and you'll have to deal with that with your friends but your teachers have been specifically told not to bring it up in any context where students are present."

"I know." Sigren sighed. "I'm not looking forward to that part of things but I'll bet most of the time the commandos will be enough to stop idiots from making a big deal about this to my face at least. If they talk behind my back I'll remind them that I've already got one fuckhead to my name and I'll be glad to collect a few more."

"Sigren," her mother chided while releasing her from one of her all-too-rare hugs.

"Yes, mother….."

"Have a good day at school. Alara has my com if anything comes up that you can't handle."

"See you when you get home from the embassy."

"Plan on it," Hannah said before the embassy car took off for the heart of the Presidium.

"All right," Sithana said via their link. "The camera on your glasses is working well. I will walk behind you as we've practiced at home and on the Presidium. I want you to maneuver through space as normally as you can. Don't forget, there's a slight delay between what the camera sees and my ability to send those images to you so this will be an excellent opportunity to sharpen your responses to unexpected environmental changes."

"Right," Sigren thought back, glad of the distraction that this demi-exercise would offer. Better to focus on this than on how people would respond to her entrance with six heavily armed commandos from the Consort's private guard force and one beautiful Asari in a white healer's smock.

The first five minutes went well. The school headmistress met Sigren and her entourage in the front hall, smiling broadly for her and the press whom Sigren hadn't realized would want lots of pictures and video.

One of the reporters tried to ask Sigren some questions but the commandos gently shooed him away, reminding him that she could not be interviewed under Citadel regulations because she was a minor.

Things started to go downhill when they got to Sigren's first class. The teacher, a Human male in his early forties, barely glanced at Sigren, instead choosing to give Sithana and the commandos funny looks.

"Hello Ms. Shepard," he said somewhat distractedly. "I'm pleased to see you and your *escort* in my class."

"Thanks Mr. Saracino." Sigren said to the substitute teacher who had been hired due to the same poisoning incident that had affected her classmates. Her mind was a busy place, however, mostly wondering why he had put so much emphasis on the word "escort".

Sithana's gentle mind-voice replied, noting wryly that: "Your Earth History teacher is doubtless aware of my work with Mistress Sha'ira."

"What do you mean?" Sigren wondered while Saracino lectured to the class about the First Contact War and the Human's "crushing victory" over the Turian Hierarchy.

"You know my service to Mistress Sha'ira sometimes means that I become physically intimate with her clients."

"Yeah," Sigren said flushing at the thought.

"Well, before Humans decided that it is legally acceptable for someone to be physically intimate with clients in exchange for money, the people who engaged in those acts were sometimes called escorts."

"Oh!" Sigren replied, realizing that Saracino didn't like Sithana because of her work with Lady Sha'ira.

"Well, no reason to listen to the asshole, then," she thought to herself, only half remembering Sithana would hear the thought. The sense of warmth and caring she received in response lifted Sigren's mood for the rest of the lecture. This was a good thing since Sigren quickly realized that Saracino was more than just an anti-Asari bigot, he was also a terrible teacher.

His lecture on the First Contact War was so far from what Sigren had learned around the dinner table with her parents that she nearly raised her hand to object to Saracino's flagrant recasting of history as she knew it.

The crushing near-defeat that the Asari Republics had saved them from was a frequent source of conversation between her parents. No matter how much her father might dislike the Asari, his fear of the Turians was far greater.

Sigren knew that even now, with ten years added time to learn and implement tools that hadn't been imagined on Earth until 2148, most Human officers were sure the SA was still far behind the other races in their understanding of, and ability to effectively use, mass effect technology.

The SA was still desperate to catch up with the rest of the Galaxy. Its efforts had begun immediately on the discovery of the Prothian Archive on Mars, even though at that point the existence of concurrently advanced civilizations could only be guessed at, not proven. By 2149 there was an all-out effort to push out through the relay system, leading to the direct discovery of more than 30 garden worlds over the next few years. Also in that year, SA citizens had willingly signed up to pay the highest taxes since the Second World War. This vast spending, still going on twenty years later, had given the SA the power to defend itself against pirates and , it was hoped, the Batarians, but its citizens were still expected to work fifty or sixty hour weeks along with getting ten to twenty hours of technical and other training.

Even with this massive effort, Sigren knew that many in the SA secretly feared it would take at least a century to get to the point where Human society would fully catch up with the other races' assimilation of mass effect tech. Sigren had also overheard her parents talking about how the leadership of the Systems Alliance was worried that catching up with the other races' mutual knowledge of social and cultural norms would take a century or more, too.

These fears never appeared in Saracino's lecture and for all anyone listening to him would have known, the SA was only days from a shattering victory over the Turians rather than the crushing defeat that people like Admiral Grissom once told her he was sure would have happened had the Asari not arrived to, as he put it, "save our bacon."

Second hour's biochemistry class went fairly well, Sithana helpless to keep Sigren from occasionally getting glimpses of her thoughts in response to the Salarian teacher's questions.

"I will have to work hard to keep you from seeing the answers to questions on your exams," Sithana's mind-voice came somewhat wryly. "How I'll transfer images to you without the knowledge behind them I don't know. Hopefully Mistress Sha'ira will have some advice."

"I don't mind," Sigren said, laughing aloud.

"You find the molecular structure of glutamine funny Ms. Shepard?" demanded her teacher.

"No, sir. Healer Sithana was saying that she didn't know how she would keep me from accessing her knowledge on exam problems and I told her I didn't mind being able to."

"Staff will have to consider this," her teacher said. "Academic advantages of your current situation not considered until now."

"I'd trade those advantages for being able to see, sir." Sigren said quietly…."but never for stopping that bastard," she thought to Sithana who sent her a gentle wave of thankfulness in return.

"Certainly certainly," her teacher responded before going back to the lecture.

Third hour's calculus course went like biochemistry. Snips of the answers to the problems the older Turian male teacher posed floating across Sithana's mind and into Sigren's more or less uncontrollably. Fortunately the lecturer didn't realize even though Sithana knew Sigren did.

Fourth hour was fine, although Sigren noted that Sithana found her Literature course particularly fascinating. How anyone could get into Romeo and Juliet Sigren didn't know but whatever floated Sithana's boat….

Lunch started badly and hovered there; never going fully off course but never getting better either.

Although edible to them, the food served that day was very heavy by Asari standards. Sithana, who was expending enormous energy holding the link open, ended up taking four of the ice-cream bars available for dessert.

"Are you sure you'll be OK?" Sigren asked worried for her caretaker. "I know you can use the sugar for calories but even you can't keep going on sugar alone."

"We'll be better prepared tomorrow. The commandos will bring eezo laced drinks and some Asari fruit juices for all of us."

"OK," Sigren sighed as they sat down after serving themselves.

Eating itself went slowly as they had to trade off holding onto the other's wrist so that each could use both hands for cutting food as needed. It also became clear that Sigren's peers, most of whom had always been a little intimidated by her general mien, physical height and the fitness that came from three hours of physical training a day with Marine specialists, were avoiding her. Sigren's few close friends were still sick due to their reaction to what had proven to be contamination by some dextro spices that a Turian merchant claimed were accidentally mislabeled.

"Just great," Sigren sighed quietly. "I really hoped people wouldn't freak out when I got back but obviously I'm not getting my wishes this week."

"I'm sorry this is so hard for you," Sithana murmured verbally. "We'll work on finding ways to make the commandos a little less obvious at meal times if we can."

"That won't help much." Sigren sighed. "I'm surely the first in my class to have killed someone, even if it was for a good reason. Add that to the fact that my head's swathed in bandages and I have an Asari caretaker who the reporters keep saying is one of the Consort's well….top consorts, and then throw in the fact that before last Monday I could have kicked half of these people's asses without breaking a sweat, even if they did all attack at once and it's just too much for most people right now. Some of it will go away and some will get better but it's gonna take a while and I've never been very popular in the first place."

"Why not?"

"I'm tall and athletic but I've never gone out for school sports. People get mad that I won't compete for the school when, according to them, I could help it win at almost anything. I also grew really early for Human girls and I'm already tall even for adult females. Then there's the physical and mental discipline I have from my trainers, the fact that I don't spend a lot of time socializing because I like my training and the people who work with me on it more, and, well, I'm just not like most of the people here."

Sithana could see this for herself. Most of the children were engaging in loud conversations some yelling, many eating sloppily. By contrast, Sigren was reserved at home and seemingly here at school. The notes from Sigren's teachers showed they respected her, although Sithana understood that the science class in which Sigren laughed this morning was usually very hard for her. Sigren's school records suggested an athletically gifted girl with disciplined study habits who could be in the top ten percent of her peers academically if three to four hours a day weren't spent on physical fitness and other skills training.

"Could you ask your parents about shifting some of your physical training into activities that would help you connect to your peers?"

"Yeah," Sigren sighed. "Dad thinks it would be good for me to go out for team sports because they would help with environmental awareness and team skills but the school doesn't have many team sports because it's so small."

"And individual sports?"

"They wouldn't teach me anything my trainers can't and I'm not gonna go out for something just to make people happy here. I liked how my life was until a week ago and so long as what we're doing works it'll get back to how things were when the treatment's done. Really it's more that a lot of people are freaked out by having you around. Human kids aren't used to having adults sitting at the same table at meals and you look like an adult … even if a blue-skinned one. Even if they were comfortable with that, they're going to be weirded out by how …um, beautiful you are and what you do. They're also probably wanting to ask about last weekend and know I won't talk about it. If I was Ok with talking about it—and I'm not—people aren't likely to bring up … what happened last Saturday with you sitting here. Until they get used to your being around, and until someone decides to get over themselves and just treat me like they would have before last Monday, it'll be kinda quiet for us. Hopefully some of the kids who got sick ten days ago will be back soon. I'm closer to a lot of them than I am this lot."

Sorrow at just how much Sigren's life had changed because she chose to save her nearly crushed Sithana.

"Oh, stop it," Sigren sent via their link. "I have friends here but as much as we move I don't ever get very close to people. There'll be a few that I'll miss when I leave here but not many and not for long. I'll have new people to know wherever I end up next and anyway, I made at least one new friend this week and I'm really glad I know her," Sigren thought forcefully before feeling embarrassed at being so open.

"I'm glad, too." Sithana replied, "and not just because you saved me. You really are a special being and I thank the goddess for the chance to have come to know you, even if I wish the circumstances were different."

"Thanks," Sigren replied, even more embarrassed. "Um, let's get to Econ and Finance."

Sithana was deeply impressed that this Human school spent so much time teaching its students about personal finance and the larger economy. This lecture, taught by a Human woman, focused on accounting and the complexities of taxation. These were things Asari children who weren't from very wealthy families often had to learn by doing. Sithana had already seen how this quirk of her culture caused the privations faced by many of the indentured Asari she had treated as a healer on Illium.

Sigren's sixth and second-to-last scheduled course of the day was euphemistically called "health".

The teacher, a very young Human woman, was obviously uncomfortable with Sithana in the classroom. The reasons for this became apparent when the topic proved to be Human and alien reproduction.

Sithana was fascinated by the Human pathology about penetrative sex. For most of the galaxy's species intercourse as a recreational activity was less common than for Humans. After all, most, with the exception of Asari who enjoyed the physical act because the link to a partner meant that pleasure was multiplied because it was shared, simply hadn't evolved in ways that led to continuous fertility and the hormonal and physiological desire for sexual intimacy so characteristic of Humans.

Only five or ten percent of Mistress Sha'ira's clients sought sexual intercourse. Some, like the Krogan, most Asari couldn't accommodate without years of physical and mental training. Sithana didn't have the training and, much to her chagrin, she found sexual intercourse with Turians resulted in severe inflammation of her azure due to allergic response to Turian dextro-amino proteins. Sithana used physical intimacy in the form of massage or cuddling to distract her clients from the psychoemotional work she would do through bonds to help her clients deal with the kinds of problems that Humans would associate with seeing a psychotherapist. She freely used sexual techniques when applicable but found that sex itself often proved a distraction in her practice. Many of her clients were strongly attached to her due to her rare ability to use such a wide variety of emotional and physical techniques in ways that facilitated every aspect of their healing.

More than ten years after first contact, Humans were still the new flavor on the Citadel. Some of Sha'ira's acolytes were still taking Humans at a steep discount to better understand them and their physical, psychological and sexual needs. Sithana knew of at least three who reported on these things to Counselor Tevos in spite of Mistress Sha'ira's orders not to do so. In discussing Human sexuality amongst themselves, it had quickly become clear that it was often bound up in silly cultural rules that other species couldn't imagine without direct exposure to the Human mind. Although she took relatively few clients seeking sex, Sithana had more experience of physical intimacy than most Asari maidens approaching their matron stage, and Humans' cultural discomfort with discussing sexual matters fascinated her as much as it did many of Mistress Sha'ira's other acolytes. To hear the young Human teacher talking about sex with a level of clinical detachment that her medical school professors would have envied was hysterical to Sithana, particularly given the obvious mix of curiosity and discomfort the students (including Sigren) had on the topic.

Sigren's last class of the day was euphemistically entitled "Our Galactic Civilization". Sigren's memories of the course showed Sithana that it covered how modern technology was developed and used. The teacher was starting a new topic, taking some time to discuss how Prothean technology discovered on Mars had helped Humans achieve mass effect capability and taught them about the mass relays. Sithana, though a fully mature maiden, could not resist taking some pride in the fact that unlike the Humans, all histories taught in Asari schools said her species had built its civilization and technology without any external help.

* * *

After Sigren's classes were over, her entourage returned to the Shepards' temporary apartment in the inner Presidium. The first thing on Sigren's schedule was the first day of her heavily modified exercise routine. It had taken a great deal of thought to work out how Sigren would continue the exercise and training regimen to which she had become dedicated at only ten years old. It had been decided that a treadmill would be best for her daily ten kilometer run and that she would learn some of the Asari's more judo-like martial arts from Alara and the other commandos. These would replace Sigren's weight lifting and swimming routines for the moment, but only until she could be taught how to do them safely. Since the Asari martial arts didn't absolutely require sight for basic learning like holds and throws, Sithana was free to work on her self-defense with their other guards. Sithana's biotics were already known to be very weak. As a result, the commandos decided to do what they could to help her use what biotic ability she had to maximum advantage while focusing on teaching her physical self-defense. They would soon find that although incredibly graceful in many circumstances, Sithana simply didn't have the physical coordination or killer instinct needed to defend herself well. So, they would do what they could to teach her how to strengthen her limited physical defense with her biotics and how to avoid danger in future. Despite her personal and ethical discomfort they would also teach Sithana how to use a pistol.

"I am a healer, a consort, a lover of beauty, not an avatar of death," Sithana said while trying to refuse the Armax arsenal brawler pistol she had received from Sha'ira via Alara who was handling this part of her training.

As this wasn't their first argument on the topic, the matron lost some of her patience with Sithana's seeming intransigence. "This may be, but because you didn't have these skills, a young Human had to accept responsibility for ending lives long before Athame would wish it. A Human child the equivalent of an Asari in her seventies could still face long-term impairment to her sight at a time when this is so rare that she will find it hard to get work or even read a news feed for as long as it takes to recreate technologies to help her do so. A Human child is spending ten hours a day linked to a being who knows more about Human intimacy than ninety-five percent of Human adults do….and will likely be in a full, and, in most circumstances illegal, pair bonding with that Asari before treatment whose effects are still not known is complete."

"These things are never far from me. I have terrible guilt that Sigren's life has been so affected and will likely be for as long as she lives. You know as well as I do that Asari who bond in their seventies face significant psychological consequences. This is why bonding before age 100 has been done very rarely on Thessia for at least five thousand years. What is worse, had I met her ten years from now I would have sought a pair bonding with Sigren who, by that point, would have been mentally and emotionally mature enough to be an equal, and not partially dependent on me as she will be for years to come. I know all of this better than you do and I am still very uncomfortable learning the skills that could help me take a life."

"Consider," Alara said gently, touching Sithana's cheek as she did so, "that for at least a hundred days you will be Sigren's last line of defense. She chose to risk her life to save you. She didn't know that she was also risking more than her physical well-being but the risk is there none-the-less. Can you really say you would not be willing to learn a skill, which you hopefully won't use, to ensure that the risk she took for you won't be repaid by injury, torture, or death because she couldn't protect herself from those who now seek to kidnap or kill her because she did the right thing by trying to help you?"

"You are right. If nothing else I owe Sigren everything I can do to ensure her welfare. Just because I am learning a skill that can be used to harm doesn't mean that I will ever use it."

"Correct," Alara said. "Now, make sure the safety of your weapon is in the "on" position. Once done, take up the stance I have shown you. As we are shooting at targets, your goal is to maximize the chance that you will hit the center. If you must ever shoot at something living, hitting it in the center gives the best chance of causing injury sufficient to give you time to escape. To have the best possible chance to hit your target in a one handed stance, the pistol should be pointing downrange, held firmly in your palm and snug to the meaty part of your thumb, fingers curled around the grip, trigger finger lying outside of the trigger guard until the range master says the range is open and you have checked to be sure no-one is standing in front of a wall-to-wall line running parallel to your shoulders…."

* * *

 **A/N** : Thanks to Desert Sunrise, excellent author and honored veteran for her slight correction to the phraseology of directions I remembered from one afternoon's training on hand positioning on a pistol. It's been too long since one very enjoyable Monday when I shot targets with a friend who has nothing to do with this story other than giving me the experience needed to feel comfortable introducing weapons training to this fic. My exposure to rifle use will come in the next story if there is one.

An2 One of the places that Bioware dropped the ball in my opinion is the issue of timelines. How the SA would have been economically, technologically, and militarily ready to fight anything beyond a "incident" level action only eight years after opening the Mars Archive is a huge mystery to me. Science may jump by 200 years but it takes time to translate knowledge in the lab to real world application. How the SA and its citizens (who would have required massive reeducation) could have been ready to make a pivotal contribution to the battle of the Citadel in 2183 only 35 years after that central event, is also a curiosity to me given the challenges I note here.

AN3 On sexual behaviors, see Wikipedia most non- ape animals for sex behaviors. See frequencies for dolphins, wales, and elephants as examples of "intelligent" animals and their frequency for having sex. This BBC article shows how common kissing is outside of western culture and in the animal world and refers to material in the scientific literature. Bbc dot com slash earth slash story slash 20150714 – why – do – we - kiss


	4. Breaking Hearts

**Thanks to everyone who has favorited, followed, and/or reviewed.**

 **Thanks also to Bioware for the Mass Effect universe and its characters. Anything and anyone you don't recognize from the game is probably a result of my own ruminations and experiences.**

* * *

 **September 28, 2169 - Office of Dr. Marvin Martin, Huerta Memorial Hospital, Citadel Presidium**

"What do you see?" Dr. Chakwas asked from behind Sigren's right shoulder.

"A light blue field with indigo letters."

"Can you repeat that, dear?"

"A light blue field with indigo letters."

"I see."

"Is something wrong?"

"Not precisely," Dr. Chakwas said somewhat distractedly. "You seem to be seeing things with the detail we would expect but not with the normal Human range of visual perception."

"So my brain's seeing things the way Sithana's does?"

"Not fully," said Dr. Martin, the hospital's new specialist in Human ophthalmology. "You now seem to have the Human norm in light perception and interpolation with added response to some forms of motion and high wavelength light. As you have learned recently, Sithana sees color at wavelengths a lot further into the ultraviolet range than we do and she doesn't see many reds we do. We see reds Asari don't because water doesn't transmit red light as well as blue light. Because her evolutionary ancestors left the water far more recently in real and evolutionary time than ours did, the Asari eye is more blue-sensitive than ours is. The need to see biotics which are blue in Asari may have also enhanced evolutionary benefits to blue light perception."

"Your response to wavelengths in what Humans consider the low to middle ultraviolet range has increased. Your eyes are near perfect copies of the set you lost in April but your brain seems to have found a way to force the cone cells in your retinas to perceive and interpolate signals for some ultraviolet wavelengths when you encounter them. For example, when I look at that screen I see a dark blue field with black letters."

"But there isn't anything truly wrong with Siren?" asked Hannah Shepard who was sitting beside her daughter in the ophthalmologist's office.

"No, nothing wrong with her, just a somewhat unusual result. At worst I think this will be a curiosity. It may prove to be helpful depending on what kind of work Sigren does in the future. The one precaution I would take is to be extra careful to wear eye protection on your first few dirt-side vacations."

"OK, doctor. Thanks for all of your help over the last few months."

"Happy to do it," the doctor said, smiling. "It's the least I could do for our young heroine."

* * *

 **October 24, 2169 - Rm 218, the Systems Alliance School**

Sigren, who had lost a great deal of interest in her classes and other activities over the last few weeks, sat restlessly in the middle of her fourth hour Statistics course. She missed Sithana terribly, not having been allowed to see her since the last linking session a few days after Dr. Martin declared her sight fully restored. Nothing mattered quite as much as it had before, and there was a gaping sense of loss that followed her everywhere she went. Focusing on anything was difficult and so when David (call me Uncle Dave), Anderson's hand moved to cup his left ear, Sigren immediately took notice.

At the end of class, Uncle Dave hastened to where Sigren was sitting before she could get up and head to lunch to meet with the small group of friends with whom she was becoming increasingly disconnected.

"Let's head out for lunch," he said softly, nudging her toward the hallway leading to the front of the school.

"What's up?"

"Good news, but I shouldn't talk about it here for reasons you'll understand once I tell you what happened."

A few minutes later they found themselves eating food they'd bought from one of the better mobile serveries in one of the beautiful gardens on the lower Presidium. The garden seemed to have a Salarian theme, though Sigren couldn't be sure since she'd never been to Sur'Kesh.

"What's up?"

"I think you saw me get the call from C-SEC?"

"Yeah," Sigren nodded after finishing her current bite of a spicy Asari fish dish. "Why would C-SEC be calling you?"

"They finally caught the rest of the gang that was trying to kidnap Sithana back in April. Apparently the Batarian government has a very high bounty on Asari known for their empathy or ability as healers. We don't know why. Still, Command thinks that you and Sithana should be safe now so long as you're either on the Citadel or aboard ship."

"So you'll be leaving too?"

Yes," David said with a sigh. "Now that you're safe, I need to get back out there and keep an eye on things. The SA hoped the First Contact War would be the last one we'd fight but it doesn't seem to be going like that."

"I'll miss you and the commandos," Sigren said. "I really liked training with you and hearing some of your stories."

"You're a very impressive young woman," Anderson said with a smile for the increasingly depressed teen. "If you keep up with everything you're doing you'll be the youngest Marine commandant in history."

"Thanks," Sigren said, blushing.

"In the mean-time, you have my comm code and I want regular reports on how things are going."

"Yes, Sir!" Sigren said, with a sharp salute, before her face broke into one of the grins that were becoming all-too-rare for her of late.

* * *

 **January 27, 2170 - Apartment 1894, Alaron Towers, Citadel Presidium**

"It's the tenth night in a row she's had nightmares and they're getting worse. Every time she wakes up terrified that everyone has abandoned her." Hannah Shepard sighed, eyes half lidded as she looked at her beloved husband's image on the bedside com-link. "I just don't know what to do anymore."

"You're going to have to make her tough it out," John replied from the bridge of the light cruiser on which he was the Executive Officer. "If we let her see Sithana the bond will fully reestablish and just like any druggie she'll just get that much more addicted."

"I don't know if we have a choice," Hannah groaned. "She's slowly losing interest in her exercise and the school is very concerned about her grades. If they go down much more they may have to put her in remedial classes this summer."

"She's got to tough it out," John repeated, worried for his daughter but unwilling to bend on the treatment the Human psychologist recommended over the strong objections of not only his Asari colleague but Sha'ira, Sigren and Sithana as well.

"All of the Asari I've talked with about this say tearing them apart like this will destroy Sigren and hurt Sithana too."

"But they're coming at this from Asari, not Human perspectives."

"Yes, but the problem is a bonding with an Asari, not addiction to red sand or something like that."

"Give it a few more weeks. If she's not doing better we'll rethink things."

* * *

 **March 14, 2170 - Office of Consort Sha'ira, Citadel Presidium**

"She's down fifteen kilos, depressed, angry, withdrawn, and she has nightmares that are getting worse every night. I'm losing my daughter and I don't know what to do to get her back."

"I know well your fear," Sha'ira said softly. "Sithana is nearly broken. She interacts with her clients with none of the care and concern we became used to expecting from her. She was, until very recently, the most able acolyte I have ever seen in her ability to pick and use emotional, physical, psychological and sexual techniques at just the right moment to help clients find solutions to their problems. She would someday have been a consort far greater than me but even if she does recover from the injuries our choices have caused her, all of that is probably lost to Sithana now because of the incredibly close bond she has forged with Sigren. As it is, she talks little to the other acolytes and spends much of her time in her rooms, watching the gardens of the Presidium. She is breaking and there is really only one reason I can think of for this."

"What would that be?" Hannah demanded stomach tight with terror for her daughter and no little fear for the Asari who had apparently sacrificed so much to save Sigren's sight.

"I feared something like this would happen when your husband agreed with Dr. Harper's directive to keep Sigren and Sithana apart. The unfortunate reality is that they developed a full bonding at a very vulnerable time for both of them and they are suffering from the kinds of problems that Asari who lose their partners often do. Usually recovering from this takes decades…."

"We don't have decades, I'm not even sure we have days!" Hannah cried, horrified by what she was being told.

"I know," Sha'ira said, caressing Hannah's hands gently. "There really is only one workable solution and that is to allow them to spend time together. We can decide whether to wean both of them off the bond as often happens naturally when Asari leave bond mates but the unraveling of a bond by choice often takes years," Sha'ira said, thought seemingly turned inward in response to some unknowable memories.

After seeming to shake off the thought Sha'ira refocused on her most frequent visitor of late.

"Alternatively, it may be that they are destined to be together and the events of nearly a cycle ago were the goddess' way of helping them find each other. The only way to find out is to let them be together, growing as beings at their stages of development often can only when with others at similar moments of change."

"How can they be at similar moments of change when Sigren is sixteen years old and Sithana is 268?"

"Sithana, like Sigren is going through a change in her life. For Sigren the change is from adolescent to physically mature Human female. For Sithana the change is from physically mature Asari with an adolescent's desire to experience everything she can to physically mature Asari who is driven, as most matrons are, to focus on her long term welfare and that of any children the goddess may bless her with."

"This is the change from maiden to matron?"

"Yes," Sha'ira said. "Sithana is going through this process several decades earlier than normal. Encountering Sigren seems to have jump-started the change that will make Sithana a full matron on or near her 275th anniversary."

"Are you sure about this?"

Sure? One can never be sure until something comes to pass." Sha'ira said thoughtfully. "However, I do know that when Asari could only bond to each other we developed a strong prohibition against letting maidens bond before their 100th anniversary for exactly this reason. They are extremely emotional which often adds to the depth and passion of bonding and not experienced enough to help an older partner through changes she might go through because of the bonding. Joining with Asari who were too young often caused older Asari to progress in their own development too quickly. This sometimes led to shorter lifespans and caused other health problems. As Sithana told you almost a year ago, there were risks for her in this process. We wouldn't have considered this treatment had Sigren had any other way to be sure of continuing her life as it was before an injury she wouldn't have had if she had not protected Sithana."

"All right," Hannah sighed. "John won't like this much but he knows I'm the one dealing with things here. He says he's willing to trust me on this. I can have her here right after school."

"I think that would be best. I'll see if there is anything on Sithana's schedule. I don't think she has commitments as she has been refusing new appointments for weeks now. I think it very important that both of us stay with them as both, starved of the connection to the spirit they have come to depend on, may seek more intimacy than Sigren is ready to handle now."

"You mean they might sleep together if we let them?"

"I wouldn't call it sleeping together," Sha'ira said. "This would be more akin to a wild, uninhibited physical coupling. Think about how you feel when you see your husband after many months apart. Now multiply that need for intimacy by a thousand and you will have some sense for how Sigren and Sithana will feel. It is possible they will be bonded for the rest of Sigren's life…."

"The rest of her life? You mean this will be permanent?"

"It doesn't have to be permanent, but the more time they spend together the more compatible to each other they will become. This kind of forced compatibility is very common in bondings between Asari and short lived races like Turians and Salarians. We have too little experience of Human-Asari bondings yet but what little we know does suggest that in all likelihoods the bond, in Sigren, will live until she dies…."

Sha'ira paused for a moment as if in thought.

"What feels good to one will feel good to the other. Both will want to avoid causing the other pain. Sithana is already deeply empathetic to others. Her empathy for Sigren may be uniquely intense in an Asari with a non-Asari bondmate by the time Sigren dies. Sigren's caring for Sithana has been proven many times; it will likely grow at nearly the same pace as Sithana's awareness of Sigren. The effect of Sigren's death on Sithana is something we will have to deal with when it happens many years from now. The reinforcement of behavioral patterns the bond causes in all Asari and strongly empathetic Asari like Sithana in particular, can be like an addictive drug in bondings like theirs. It often leads to very long term relationships between Asari who bond to each other or to Krogan. It is also the only reason I didn't object to Dr. Harper's suggestions more forcefully. I prayed to the goddess that by separating them as quickly as possible Sigren and Sithana might escape this consequence. "

"My god, what have we done?" Hannah asked herself, though apparently not quite quietly enough.

"We did what we thought was best. The Goddess often offers us choices with no clear best outcome. As you said to your husband some months ago, we take the one that we think is least bad. I still believe we made the best choice we could with the problems we had and no information on how a deep link would affect both of them, particularly Sigren. That said, just because it was the best choice does not mean it was a good one. I would remind you that Sithana would die sooner than hurting your daughter. Now we must prevent two deaths by stopping the pain we have inflicted on both Sigren and Sithana."

* * *

 **A/N:** Speculation on Asari vision is based on a mix of the ME wiki, fanon, and the science of color discussed at the following link from the National Oceanographic and Atmospheric Administration. oceanexplorer. noaa. gov/ explorations/ 04deepscope/ background/ deeplight/

Reading on molecular clocks and molecular evolution may also be helpful in understanding my thinking.


	5. Shattered Innocence

**Thanks to everyone who has favorited, followed, and/or reviewed.**

 **Thanks also to Bioware for the Mass Effect universe and its characters. Anything and anyone you don't recognize from the game is probably a result of my own ruminations and experiences.**

* * *

 **March 14, 2170 - Chambers of the Consort, the Citadel Presidium.**

"Mum, why are we here?" Sigren asked listlessly, barely aware of where they were walking.

"Sha'ira wanted to speak with you," Hannah said while guiding her daughter up the steps to the Consort's chambers

"Oh," Sigren murmured distractedly.

It was but a moment to pass Nelyna's desk and walk up the steps to Sha'ira's luxurious inner chamber; a space with which Hannah had become all-too-familiar over the last ten months.

On passing through the beautifully carved double doors, Sigren's face came up and Hannah was reminded just how horribly her daughter had suffered for doing the right thing.

Sigren's formerly oval face was now very sharp, her high cheekbones starkly visible under limp red hair that in no way resembled the glorious mane her Scottish father gave her. Sigren's eyes, which, behind her height, were the most apparent of Hannah's gifts, were dull, lifeless and half lidded, not the intense green lasers always focusing on everything around her to which Hannah had become accustomed.

"Oh, child." Sha'ira sighed softly. "What have we done?"

"The best you could do under the circumstances," a harsh voice croaked from a corner. "But now it is time for Sigren and me to overcome injuries caused by bad decisions taken on our behalf."

If the effects of the broken bonding were frightening to see on Sigren's formerly athletic form, they were equally terrifying on Sithana's far slighter frame. The formerly lush curves were gone, the unusually soft medium dark blue skin dry, cracked and sloughing off in patches. Sithana's big silver eyes a dim and hazy gray.

"Sithana?" Sigren gasped, eyes filled with tears.

"Yes," Sithana croaked. "I am here my love."

While the reunion of two parted bond mates was often a rush of joy and erotic action, the reconnection of these two who had gone through so much to save both of their futures, was more of a collapsing of two exhausted spirits against each other, desperate for peace after a long and painful parting.

Hannah and Sha'ira turned aside, not wishing to embarrass the two any further by making it obvious that they were closely monitoring the kisses and touches that would have been utterly inappropriate in a public setting for moves to strip off clothing or otherwise engage in behavior that, in any other circumstance, Sigren would not have been ready for yet. When things began to go too far, Sha'ira moved quickly to grasp Sithana's attention. Once done, her acolyte regained control of herself and, in doing so, helped Sigren step back from a place she was desperate to go but wasn't ready for yet.

"I am so sorry things got this far," Sithana sighed verbally and over their reestablished mental connection. "I should have fought harder to follow another path after your treatment was done."

"Yes, you should have." Sigren cried both mentally and verbally. "I can't do this anymore. I can't be cut off from you again. It was like having my leg cut off and my heart ripped out of my chest."

"Then we'll make sure you have time together," Hannah said through the tears she so rarely shed while squeezing the shoulder not occupied by the head of an Asari who was weeping quietly but in a way that tore Hannah's heart nearly as much as her daughter's tears did.

"Thank you, Mother." Sigren said through the tears that poured down her normally stoic cheeks, flooding on to Sithana's crest which lay between Sigren's head and right shoulder. Seeing the two deeply wounded beings holding each other while crying mixed tears of pain and relieved joy finally gave Hannah hope that this horrible period of their lives might, just might, have, if not a happy, at least a workable, ending.

* * *

 **August 4, 2170 - Shuttle docking port 59-C, Zakara Ward, The Citadel**

"Are you sure you want to go straight to the Asari's apartment?" John Shepard demanded.

"Yes," snapped Sigren, tired of her father's unwillingness to let her see the most important being in her life.

"Wouldn't you rather see Dr. Harper again?"

"Why would I want to see that incompetent fuck?"

"Sigren!"

Sigren didn't even deign to respond to his objection verbally. The glare she sent her father more than sufficient to tell him that she wouldn't take correction on her language.

"He is the best Human psychologist on the Citadel,"

"Maybe for normal Humans but I'm not normal anymore. He nearly killed me and Sithana too. I need to see Sithana because my hands are still shaking from killing Batarians and watching almost everyone on Mindoir die—some because I accidentally killed them—or get kidnapped. If mum hadn't gotten there in time, I wouldn't be seeing anyone. Since I am alive to see people, I just want to see my bonded—who is probably the best psychiatric specialist in Citadel space—and have her tell me that I couldn't have done any better."

"But everyone on the rescue party told you that already."

"Sure, and I know they think that, but there's a big difference between being told they believe it and actually being able to feel that someone you love believes it."

"OK," John said sighing. Whereas Hannah had feared losing Sigren in the spring, he knew he was losing her now. Ever since the incident sixteen months ago, his seemingly strong rapport with his daughter had disappeared. She rebelled against everything he suggested, particularly where the Asari to whom she had become so attached was concerned. Whereas he'd hoped Sigren might someday join him in the Navy, she was even more determine to follow her mother's footsteps into the Marines. This cut him more deeply than he wanted to admit, particularly to a daughter who was distancing herself from him at FTL speed.

"I'll meet you at our apartment."

"No reason for you to stay here—just go back to your ship." Sigren said. "I've still got three weeks before school starts and I'll hardly be alone since Sithana took emergency leave at Huerta Memorial."

"I'm not really comfortable…."

"Why?"

"She's … and you're…. and I just don't like having the two of you together unsupervised."

"She's 269 years old and we're not doing anything that you and mother weren't doing with your friends at my age. IN fact we're doing a lot less if what mother says is right."

"All right," Sigren's father sighed. "I don't like how close you are to your Asari but I trust your mother and she has given her the ability to act as your guardian when both of us are away from the Citadel."

She kinda had to," Sigren said softly. "By Asari and citadel law we're married."

John frowned, not liking being reminded of this fact one little bit. Sigren, wanting to try to keep some kind of a bridge to her father sighed and tried her best to mend their rapidly deteriorating fences. "Even though you don't believe it, neither of us is stupid. I love her a lot and she loves me too. Yes she's special and amazing and beautiful and … but I'm not old enough for everything yet and Sithana would never force me to do anything physical that both of us weren't ready for."

"But she is ready, and a very experienced Asari if what I'm told is true."

Her father's unbending dislike of the Asari in general, and Sithana in particular, frustrated Sigren no end. When asked many years later, Sigren would describe this conversation as their last calm discussion on the issues that were quickly driving them apart. "Of course she's experienced, she worked for Sha'ira for thirty years. The Consort's acolytes—and Asari in general—aren't nearly as loose as Humans like to paint them but they're not celibate either. She understands that I'm not old enough to deepen our bond that way and she's willing to wait until I'm ready. I know I'm getting closer but I'm not there yet. Trust me to know when I am and we'll be OK. You used to trust me so easily."

"That was before you saved one of the most beautiful, and scandalous, Asari in the galaxy. Someone whom you're considered married to and even though I know you've not had sex with her yet, I know that will happen soon, even if you're not quite yet ready to go there. I might be OK with that if your Asari was close to your age but the reality is she was born while Victoria I was on the throne."

"If she was my age she'd look like a four year old kid." Sigren snapped, disgusted by the image her father had unintentionally put in her head.

She took a breath and shook herself before she could say what she really wanted to.

"….It doesn't matter when she was born or what she looks like, just what her intentions are. I spend enough time in her mind to know she wouldn't hurt me. If you don't trust me then trust Sha'ira and Justicar Samara. They both say her intentions are good. If Samara thought she was acting in an unjust way Sithana'd be under a deferred death sentence."

John Shepard couldn't argue with that. He had pressured the Navy to arrange his patrol schedule to let him be on the Citadel when Samara put Sithana to the question four months earlier. He would never forget the tall, curvaceous, and incredibly intimidating Asari's words when she sat down across Sha'ira's desk from Sithana:

"I am the Justicar Samara. I am here to determine whether the steps that have led to the premature bonding of this Human child were taken with justice at their heart. If you are telling the truth and have acted with intentions that were just, there will be no problem between us. If not, you will die either moments after the Human does or as soon as a way to break the bond can be found. Are you ready to answer a justicar's questions?"

"Yes, the younger Asari had said, not a tremble in her voice. As was true for Sigren, Sithana had only slowly recovered from their forced separation. Weeks after his wife and the Consort allowed Sigren to see Sithana again, Sigren's Asari…friend? Lover? Bond mate? Fiancé?'s voice was only part way back to its sultry timbre. Her skin still dry and only slowly returning to the gorgeous hue it had been only a few months earlier. Whatever the Asari maiden was to his daughter, John knew fear about the Asari's feelings had kept Sigren running to the Asari's apartment almost every night during the spring to prove to herself that the Asari was alive and still cared for her. The rare nights Sigren wasn't at the Asari's apartment, the blue woman could usually be found in Sigren's bed.

John was as staggered by the Justicar's statement and its calm delivery as he was by Sithana's acceptance of it. What powers did justicars have? Could they really assign summary justice and if so, what kind of people was these Asari anyway?

After fifteen minutes of mental contact that appeared to be extremely painful for Sigren's Asari…whatever she was, Samara had risen, bowed deeply to the younger being and said:

"There can be no question that in spite of Asari law and tradition that say otherwise, your actions and intentions in this matter have been, and are, just." With that flatly delivered statement, Samara turned around and walked out of the Consort's chambers, not to be seen by a member of the Shepard family for more than a decade.

* * *

 **August 18, 2170 - Apartment 1418, Tiberius Towers, the Citadel Presidium**

"Come back here you bastards!" Sigren's voice rang out from what had become her bedroom in Sithana's apartment. Rolling out of bed as she had done too many times of late, Sithana cursed the distance from her bedroom to Sigren's, wishing that a two-bedroom apartment with a better floor plan had been open when she left Consort Sha'ira immediately after the condition caused by their damaged bonding was allowed to stabilize. Unfortunately, Tiberius Towers was the only option within easy walking distance of the Shepard's' diplomatic apartment and Huerta Memorial where Sithana had joined the psychiatry staff after leaving Consort Sha'ira's practice. Giving up the dream of becoming a consort had been hard but once the depth of their connection had become clear there had been no other choice; one simply couldn't make the intense connections that a consort often did and have a bonded partner, too.

Sithana was increasingly afraid for the young Human who she expected to be the father of her children someday. Because of this worry, Sithana was now very glad she enjoyed her work as a psychiatrist; she now knew she would need her reactivated clinical skills in order to help Sigren with the horrific experiences she had gone through while she was on Mindoir. Sigren evinced terrible nightmares, often several times a night. The episodes reminded Sithana of the abandonment theme nightmares both had for months when the bond between their minds and spirits formed during treatment for Sigren's blindness was fractured on the advice of a narrow-minded Human psychologist. Sithana occasionally saw the idiot who recommended the breaking of her bond to Sigren in the hallways of Huerta Memorial. If she ever had to interact with him, she would not take responsibility for her actions.

Sigren's current nightmares were on the fight-for-life theme and often very violent. Sithana was often forced to gently restrict Sigren with her biotics as her bonded was now ten centimeters taller, more than fifteen kilos heavier, and far stronger than she. Sigren was also infinitely better at self-defense and this gap was only growing wider as time passed. The restraints Sithana had to employ in order to protect herself would only cause Sigren to fight harder until Sithana could reach out over their mental connection to ease some of her beloved's stress.

Sithana ran into Sigren's room and saw that the Human female wasn't in bed anymore. She had crashed through the now-shattered glass door separating the room from its small attached balcony. Sigren now stood, one foot on the railing, seemingly ready to leap into open space.

"No!" Sithana screamed, hands moving for the biotic pull she had never managed before. Whether desperation or the goddess' will, Sithana would never know, but the next moment she was flattened by seventy-five kilos of flying Human teenager.

Fortunately, the impact with her roommate seemed to waken Sigren who quickly rolled off of Sithana's slender frame.

"What happened?" Sigren groaned.

"You had another nightmare and nearly jumped off of the balcony in pursuit of whomever you were chasing."

"Oh,"

"Sigren, love, I don't think we can wait to talk about Mindoir anymore. If I'd been half a moment later you would have been splattered all over the Asari gardens and … and…." Sithana burst into tears, reaction to what had nearly happened finally catching up with her.

There was a terrible pause while Sigren shut herself away, even from the link between them which was fully active since both were wearing little and had a great deal of skin contact.

"OK," the tiny voice came across their link. "But I don't think I'm ready to talk about it yet. Can I show you? "

"Yes, of course," Sithana sighed, thankful for this step. "You'll need to vocalize what happened to you soon—to someone who is less emotionally involved than I am—but for now; I'll come with you in your memories. Thank you for being willing to share your pain with me and for letting me help you bear some of it."

"I wouldn't share it with anyone else." Sigren said, while rising and moving toward the bed.

Sithana lay wrapped around her Human, some unknown time later. She was unaware of the red blood from the numerous small cuts Sigren had caused herself by crashing through the closed balcony door; blood that stained Sithana's skin a very uncharacteristic purple. She wept in sadness for the horror of what Sigren had seen and been forced to do on Mindoir. She also wept in thankfulness that the shuttle she had taken back from the colony after spending two weeks with Sigren while she did groundside study for her forthcoming final year project on Human agriculture and its importance to the Systems Alliance, had left the planet only a few hours before the Batarians arrived in force.

* * *

Sithana had used innumerable comparatively shallow mind links to help thousands of clients work through issues they faced in their lives but she had never carried out a link with someone was as close to as she was to her incredible Human.

Everything in her training could not have prepared her for the intensity of the connection and of Sigren's memories. When the memory opened, rather than seeing it in the third person or at most in three dimensions, it was Sithana who jerked in surprise on seeing the unknown landing craft descending on the colony some distance away. It was Sithana who ran nearly fifteen kilometers from where she had been target shooting with an old assault rifle gifted to her on her sixteenth birthday by her mother to a tree near the village. It was Sithana who realized that there wasn't a lot she could do to help the villagers now as it was four hours before dark and there simply was no hope of taking offensive action by herself while it was still light out. It was Sithana who counted every one of the thirty-one shuttle trips that launched from the village over the next four hours while also watching women get raped, men die in numerous and unpleasant ways, and children being implanted with some kind of chip technology via surgery that she could see through the rifle's scope was done with no regard for their pain or for sterile conditions. It was Sithana who thanked the goddess that Sithana had left the colony that morning on what she desperately hoped was the last shuttle to escape the system via the local mass relay and it was Sithana who, after hours of waiting, took joy in the fact that she finally had a chance to do something to hopefully slow the Batarians down long enough for help to arrive.

Overwhelmed by the intensity of the memories Sithana reflexively pulled partway out of the link so she could try to gain some distance.

"What's wrong?" Sigren's mind voice came across their link.

"This is extremely intense for me. I'm not used to living someone else's memories instead of just being a witness to them. I … I can't imagine what this must have been like for you."

"It gets a lot worse," Sigren's mental voice came quietly.

"Thank you for the warning. I am afraid of what I will experience but I know I will survive it because you are here to show it to me. I will shield you from fully reliving the memories if I can." Sithana said before reimmersing herself in Sigren's memories, determined that even if she had to live them in full detail for the first time, Sigren would not have to do so again tonight.

* * *

Sithana ran quietly across the fields nearly bent double to remain below the level of the crops on either side of her. She cursed her height for the first time in a while, wishing that she stood 165 cm, not over 185 CM as she did now. Fortunately her growth was slowing down. This was a good thing since if she got much taller the intense snogs she now enjoyed with Sithana would require bending or lifting to properly kiss her lover's beautiful purple-lipped mouth. Thankfully, the rows were straight and although she tripped once, she didn't take any other falls. Once she was within a hundred meters of the village she dropped to all fours, knowing that even though Mindoir had no moon, star-shine would be bright enough to make her visible to a sharp-eyed guard if she didn't start using whatever cover she could find.

Fortunately, the guards weren't very attentive, or they had too many potential slaves to roust out of their homes. She could hear the occasional crack of weapons fire and see the even less frequent muzzle flashes from old-style chemically powered guns. So long as the villagers could keep fighting and distracting the Batarians, she would be able to successfully interfere with the bastards' plans.

The first thing she needed was a pistol or a knife. After all, her assault rifle would be too loud and too unwieldy in many circumstances and an omniblade too loud and too bright at night in a small colonial village. Problem was, she had no idea who owned pistols on this planet and even if she did, she didn't know the village well enough to be sure of knowing who lived where. A butcher knife would work but finding one and getting close enough to cut her target's throats would be difficult in the first case and very very risky in the second. She would also have to choose Bastards who were either getting lazy or not wearing helmets; not easy to do from a distance in the dark. It might be best to just creep up behind one of the guards who had a pistol and wasn't wearing a helmet. Once she found one she could try to break his neck. She'd gotten a lot stronger than she was when she stopped the Asshole who tried to kidnap Sithana a year earlier and she thought she might be strong enough to break one of the bastards' necks now. With a pistol she could kill a few more while she found a place from which she could cause trouble for the bastards when they were loading the colonists onto their shuttles which she wanted to destroy if she could.

Unfortunately, she knew damaging or destroying the shuttles would be possible but very difficult. If she could find or make some explosives, she could maybe blow up or damage one of the transports enough to make it unspaceworthy. That would slow the bastards in taking colonists off planet. If the shuttle blew up, that would take out the crew but it would kill some colonists. Still, being dead was probably better than being a mind-controlled Batarian slave.

Frustratingly, potential innocent casualties weren't the only problem with this strategy. Another was that finding or making explosives would be tough. Getting close enough to use explosives on a shuttle would be hard because the guards would probably be watching their landing area too closely. Using her gun on a shuttle from a safer range wouldn't work because an assault rifle didn't have enough punch to damage the engines of most spacecraft unless fired at point-blank range, or at just the right angle. So, for the moment at least, trying to blow up a shuttle was probably a no-go.

This left sneaking around and doing her best to disrupt the bastards' operations. Getting up on the roofs would not be an option because the houses were far too widely spaced to allow her to jump from one to another. If Mindoir had had a moon, she would have had even bigger problems than she had already since moonlight would make sneaking from one house to another very hard. Fortunately, with no moon she only had to contend with star shine which she had to remind herself would seem even brighter to her than to either the Human residents of the colony or the Batarians, neither of whom had her increased ultraviolet perception. Star shine, no matter how it was perceived, would be problem enough on Mindoir whose unusually bright background light would make sneaking from house to house at ground level difficult given her larger-than-average shadow and the bright light from the Galaxy's relatively nearby core stars on this clear night.

* * *

The memories paused and then skipped a little, as the next thing Sithana saw was a door leading into a house.

"Why did you pass over some time?" she asked curiously.

"I was just sneaking across the rest of the field and past some houses. I didn't really think you needed to see an hour of that."

"OK. As hard as the last couple of weeks have been on you I definitely don't want to go through whatever it is you have to show me again if we miss something this time."

"Trust me," Sigren thought wryly. "I won't let you miss any of the blood, brains and other bodily fluids."

* * *

The back door of the prefab house opened slowly, Sithana making her way into the kitchen more due to familiarity with the common design than either the star shine that lit the room a dull blue-white or the increased perception of light and motion she had received from Sithana during her treatments. There was a small table that she nearly tripped over but fortunately she saw it at just the last moment.

She immediately saw that she'd gotten lucky when she entered the kitchen. Apparently this family still used knives as opposed to omniblades. Sithana knew that many families didn't like the new option because it could be activated by mistake and so extremely dangerous to younger kids. Fortunately, the family's knives were stored in what appeared to be an antique knife block just to the right of the sink.

She had just picked out a knife with what appeared to be a 25 cm blade when a strange noise drew her attention toward the door leading further into the house. The gurgling grunt told her that someone was in the house. Since she'd seen the Bastards clear it before night fell, Sithana had to assume that either someone had snuck back in later or that one of the guards was doing something that he shouldn't. Either way, she needed to be careful not to be caught herself.

Knife in hand, she turned around, fully ready to leave when she heard a high-pitched voice groan in the front room: "Ooooh, master, do it harder, deeper," it said.

She jerked in shock, surprised that someone was taking the time for … that during what had to be a rushed job to capture as many slaves as possible….the Alliance couldn't be *that* far away….could it?

Young though she might be, Sithana had been told she had the discipline and training of a standard Marine about halfway through basic training. She was smart enough to know that whatever was happening with the Alliance, she had to deal with the current situation as it stood now. Rescue might come in five minutes, or five days but until it came, she would have to rescue herself and as many of the colonists as she could.

That started now.

* * *

Sithana crept down the hallway, the grunts from either a small woman or … well, she didn't want to think about that much,…covering any noise her footsteps might make. As things were getting louder and louder in the prefab's living room, she came into a position where she could see what was going on. The scene that met her eyes was a true horror. A partially armored Batarian was lying above a much smaller form, hips thrusting up and down forcefully. Whether it was truly a small woman or … well, something else, Sithana didn't really want to know, particularly given the slowly spreading pool of red blood under the intertwined beings.

The reaction was all instinct.

Her assault rifle came up, and the three round burst cracked across the room loudly. The bullets struck the Batarian in the mid back, exploding out his chest and, to Sithana's growing horror, blasting the face and neck of what she now realized was a nine or ten year old boy into bloody pulp.

To her even greater horror, the little body rose up, screaming: "You killed my master!" he cried before collapsing from blood loss caused by the red geyser literally spouting from his shredded neck.

* * *

Sithana pulled out of the link to see Sigren's terrified face awash in tears.

"You probably hate me now," she nearly screamed.

"No!" Sithana cried. "I could never hate you, particularly when it was an accident! It was not! Your! Fault!"

"But…"

"That little boy's death may be your responsibility but it was not your fault!" Sithana said firmly, pushing her awareness toward Sigren's as strongly as she could to show her that she truly meant everything she said. "You acted on instinct, you did not fire to hurt him, and in fact you were trying to save him. Most importantly, you probably saved him from a life even worse than the future you saved me from."

"But I fired the gun," Sigren sobbed, the horror of her actions washing over her in spite of Sithana's best efforts in the link.

"Maybe so," Sithana said quietly, "but you certainly didn't aim to hit the boy. Could you have told the Batarian you were there and made him stop?...Maybe, but maybe he would have just kept going while someone you couldn't see shot you. You are only sixteen years old. You were in a situation where you were outnumbered dozens to one and you acted on reflex. You could have made different choices but you did not mean to kill the boy. This is, as your friends in the Marines would say, a case of friendly fire."

Sigren shifted slightly as if wanting to say something. Sithana was, however, not done speaking yet.

"Should you feel sad that he died? Of course. Should you keep learning so that if you are ever in that situation again you can try to make it happen differently? Definitely. But never believe that I or anyone else would think you had anything but the best intentions in that incredible, beautiful heart of yours."

"That's about what the military psychologists said," Sigren sniffled, "but it sure feels better to hear and feel it from you."

"I'm glad," Sithana said and sent as strongly as she could.

"There's more," Sigren sniffled.

"That may be," Sithana said, but I think you've had enough for tonight. Let's go to my room and I'll hold you while you sleep."

"You sure?" Sigren asked. "I think I might be ready for more than just cuddling."

"Not tonight," Sithana said softly. "I would love to deepen our bond in that way but we need to make that connection in a way and at a time when you aren't hurting as much as you are now."

"I think I really want to now," Sigren murmured while caressing Sithana's crests.

"Not tonight," Sithana said, gently pulling her bonded's hands from her body before she could get any more stimulated than she already was from the incredible mix of unbelievably intense emotions she had experienced in the last few hours. "I want this as much as you do. I have never shared a deep bonding with someone I loved. I want it badly, so badly, but I won't do it now. I want you to be in a better place and I need to be more balanced, too in order to give you the best of myself and get that from you, too."

"But…."

"I promise you it will happen soon, but not tonight." Sithana said, wrapping her arms tightly around Sigren while sending her the love and passion she felt for her incredible bonded.

"OK," Sigren sighed, rising and lifting Sithana with her. Both looked toward the smashed door, and then consciously turned away from what had almost happened, choosing to head down the hall toward the master bedroom and whatever might lie in their future instead.

* * *

A/N1 the scene with Shepard being rescued by someone biotically from a potentially dangerous fall is not mine originally. I can't remember the fic in which I saw the concept and although I've modified it heavily the idea is definitely not mine alone.

A/N2 With this we come to the end of my prepared material. The idea for this story came from the recognition that the ME fandom seems to dislike stories that ask the question: What if "X" happened? How would the flow of events change? In starting to ask that question I felt I had to recognize that the ME universe would really not be the same unless one overwhelming reality remained: The Reapers are coming.

A/N3 I want to ask the question: What would happen if Benezia lived and could offer testimony. I need a co-author to help me answer this (to me) fascinating question. I am more productive when working with someone than on my own. These five chapters can be considered a "sample" of my writing. They also help to establish the personalities for some of the characters pre-ME1 while also setting the galaxy up in a somewhat more "realistic" way (according to my training in politics, policy and economics) with respect to the balance of powers etc., than it seems Bioware felt would be possible to market given gamers' natural bias toward Humans. I have lots of ideas that would permit almost all of the characters introduced here to live or die. Depending on whether someone takes interest, and how their ideas mesh with mine, nearly any outcome is possible. This story can be either "complete" or can be driven further to explore the lives of the characters and Shepard's experiences from 2170-2183, with a re-exploration of the 2183-86 period coming later, depending on discussions with any potential collaborator. If you're interested in a possible collaboration after reading what I've sent out, please feel free to pm me and let me know if you've written and/or collaborated on fanfics before.

AN4 Due to some requests for one shots to cover gaps in the story so far I may get one or two of them out co-author or not. Please stay tuned for those.


	6. A Look Back to Testing, Pt 1

**A/n: Surprise! Although I said the main story was on hold until I found a co-author, I received a large number of requests to patch a gap in the story that the jump over the days of adjustment and early testing referred to in chapter 3 represented for many. I was going to do some one-shots to address this but found another way forward that lets this likely three-shot segment (which could be nearly as long as the original five-chapter set), be a part of the main plotline. This chapter is the first of three, covering that key period in Sigren and Sithana's lives. I have no idea at all when the next chapter will be done but it will be a while.**

 **Thanks to everyone who has favorited, followed, and/or reviewed, particular thanks go to those who encouraged me to patch this hole in the plot…. there were several of you and I hope you enjoy this chapter. Even more particular thanks to Desert Sunrise for help with the mechanics of getting this to you.**

 **Thanks also to Bioware for the Mass Effect universe and its characters. Anything and anyone you don't recognize from the game is probably a result of my own ruminations and experiences.**

* * *

Early morning August 19, 2170 **Apartment 1418, Tiberius Towers, the Citadel Presidium**

Sithana, who was emotionally and physically exhausted herself, needed a lot of time to use a mix of massage, light mental linking and talk to relax Sigren enough to facilitate sleep.

It took even longer for her to find rest herself. Sigren's memories of the battle on Mindoir were horrifying, not only because of what the Human had experienced, but also because they were clear indications to Sithana of what she would have suffered had Sigren not rescued her from her own Batarian attackers more than a year earlier.

Worrying about what might have been was one of Sithana's self-perceived weaknesses. Even now she sometimes wished she could go back to the simple and very rewarding life of a leading acolyte to Consort Sha'ira. Work that was, generally, far safer and far better paying than the wide range of dangerous occupations and behaviors that most of Sithana's age mates engaged in. Jobs and choices that, recent data showed, meant that Asari who were 286 had outlived fully half of the Asari children born in the same year as they were. This was fortunate for the Council because the known Galaxy's resources could not support the Asari population alone if it were allowed to come to full maturity—and its full potential fecundity. One-thousand-year-old Asari matriarchs could be expected to consume nearly twenty times as much in food and other material in their lives as the oldest Humans, and nearly fifty times more than the most senior Salarian males. A matriarch's life-time resource consumption could only be equaled by most Elcor and the Salarian dalmatics who produced literally thousands of the eggs that became tadpoles if they hatched. The average Asari was likely to have five daughters once she started having children which, of course, would have compounded the resource issue further if the Asari tendency toward risky behaviors in the maiden stage not built a strong enough cap on their population growth to ensure that the number of Asari wouldn't more than double every five or six hundred years.

In spite of the loss in revenue and respect that she now faced, knowing Sigren as she did today, Sithana was sure that whether simple luck or the workings of the universe, she had found the being who would be the father to as many children as she could convince her bonded to have with her. Children who would, Sithana hoped, keep the Tamara family name that she bore proudly as the present form of the Serrice T'asht'vara lineage founded 26,821 Thessian cycles earlier by the mother-ancestress from whom she descended over 73 unbroken mother-to-daughter generations.

Sithana was sure she would succeed as both Human-style psychologist and Asari-type mind-healer—roles her medical training and apprenticeship to Consort Sha'ira made her eminently qualified to excel in. She could only hope she wouldn't need too much of her professional knowledge to help Sigren overcome the experiences she had survived in her life already, not to mention those Sithana feared her bonded's personality and family culture would lead her to in the future.

As it often did, Sithana's widely trained mind turned toward the adjustments they had managed in those early days of their relationship and bonding shortly after her near kidnapping. Challenges she willingly shouldered then because of the debt she felt she owed Sigren for her freedom and, almost certainly, her life. Problems—and rewards—that even if she hadn't felt indebted to Sigren, Sithana would have accepted for the simple reason that there was no-one better qualified to handle them.

* * *

May 1, 2169, Rm. 1567 Huerta Memorial Hospital

Although she couldn't know it yet with certainty, Sithana was aware that this day was likely to be a great and terrible day for Sigren Shepard. Today was the first day the fifteen-year-old girl was to be let out of bed for any significant period of time. This, in itself, made it a great day.

Today would also be filled with tests and other procedures meant to determine how difficult it would be for Sigren to see through Sithana's eyes, and the Asari maiden would soon learn that not knowing how today's tests would go made May 1, 2169 more than a little terrible in Sigren's proverbial eyes.

Sithana didn't need twenty years of medical training along with many more in practice, as well as nearly thirty cycles apprenticed to Consort Sha'ira to know that getting to this point hadn't been easy for Sigren. The Human teen already had to deal with a wide variety of uncomfortable situations and feelings while she struggled to begin the process of regaining at least some self-sufficiency and hopefully, her sight.

For nearly four days Sigren had been fed intravenously. The first two days she was fed this way because she was unconscious after the Batarian's attack. The last two days, IV feeding was done so that her shattered wrist would have time to recover before being asked to do the essential work associated with trying to bring food and drink from plates and cups to her mouth, a task that was easy for the Human teenager until four days ago.

Knowing of the challenges Sigren was likely to face in getting food from plates to her mouth, the Human Surgeon Dr. Chakwas had ordered breakfast for her, including a wide variety of foods "just in case."

Within moments, Sigren had made a total mess of her hospital gown and the bed.

It was becoming ever more obvious to Sithana that like Asari under age 200 or so, Sigren didn't have the body sense that older Asari had simply by repeating tasks in a body that didn't grow or change very quickly for years or centuries on end. This disaster proved to Sithana that eating was going to pose a significant challenge for Sigren since she couldn't see where food was on her plate or where the cup of water was on her hospital tray—a task the numerous monitor leads and other wires that still festooned her bed and body made even more difficult.

No matter the discussions or meetings that might be happening with respect to Sigren's health, Sithana was always available to guide the Human teen to the bathroom when she needed to go. Sigren needed a full day before she could manage the three-foot trip mostly on her own. Sithana knew Sigren had to be frustrated since she and Dr. Chakwas ordered her to make the trip as many times as needed before she was allowed to stop. Even then, any time Sigren had to actually go to the bathroom, Sithana made sure to be present in the water closet itself.

Sithana was shocked to discover that Sigren was uncomfortable having someone with her in the bathroom. Asari had little body modesty once they matured. Their unisex culture meant bathrooming wasn't done in the enclosed spaces that most bi-gendered species often preferred. It took a long time for Sithana to explain to Sigren that until she could learn how to navigate places like this by herself, either she or Sigren's parents would need to be with her—for safety if nothing else, no matter how uncomfortable the Human teen might be.

Sithana did her best to make sure that Sigren understood that as a healer, she was comfortable with caring for patients. Even so, the young, highly independent and equally self-conscious teen was struggling to deal with the fact that she did, indeed, need help.

Sithana's mind turned from the innumerable practical challenges they would have to overcome to the more immediate issues they were facing. Although it was obvious to Sithana that Sigren was definitely glad to be released from bed, it was equally clear that the prospect of the day-long battery of tests that was the cost of her release was deeply frightening to Sigren.

Sithana could definitely understand the young Human's fear since the results of the testing would go a long way to saying whether she would be able to see for Sigren. With success they could be confident that Sigren would see herself someday. Failure would make the next little while far more complicated. Sithana expected success with this complex and desperate procedure but admitted to herself that she was a little worried, too.

Having discussed how Sigren would be taken through the day's tests with Dr. Chakwas the night before, Sithana sat back in order to let the Human medical team explain how the day was going to go to the girl who would be such a huge part of her life—hopefully for a little while only, but Sithana both feared and hoped, for much longer.

"Let me explain the procedure we're going to start this morning," Dr. Chakwas said to Sigren who was now sitting in a comfortable chair in her room in Huerta Memorial Hospital.

"We need to take this step by step. Our first step is to have you link with Sithana and see how that goes. Because Asari and Humans have made informational links before without reporting any painful consequences, we'll start with just letting you … get to know each other as it were."

"Okay," Sigren said, a slight quaver in her voice.

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" Sithana asked Sigren in her gentlest voice.

"No," the young Human said, impressing Sithana with her honesty, "but it won't get any easier the longer we wait so let's get to it."

"Very well," Sithana murmured. "Embrace Eternity."

Sithana was always fascinated by how other minds perceived her on that first delicate connection. After encountering—and doing what little she could to relieve—the physical pain Sigren was feeling due to the ongoing issues she was facing in trying to heal, Sithana dove deeper.

She was not surprised to find that Sigren found her physically beautiful. Most Asari and many Humans thought her far more attractive than average. She knew this would only increase as she grew in age and presence. She was deeply humbled to learn that the Human teen already saw her as very smart and incredibly kind. Sithana hoped she wouldn't be smashed on the rocks by the fall from the mental promontory on which Sigren had put her when the teen found the personality flaws and limitations in skill and perspective that she, like all other beings, had to overcome.

Sithana pushed forward the incredible thankfulness she felt for what Sigren had done four days earlier on the Presidium. She hoped that this would both lower that mental promontory a bit and soften Sigren's self- perceived limitations—some actual some not—in contrast to what the Human girl saw as Sithana's vast knowledge and life experience.

"Thank you my young friend," she said softly in mind speak alone. "I truly can never repay you for what you did for me four days ago. I am very sorry you were hurt. I promise you here, just as I did when you woke, that I will do everything I can to help you recover and have the life you desire."

Because she had worked with so many other beings with no telepathic gifts, Sithana wasn't surprised when Sigren both thought and spoke her response: "I was happy to help." It didn't take Sithana long to realize that the sentiment wasn't surprising either—for this singular Human girl at least.

Rather than focusing on Sigren's words or the sentiments behind them, Sithana gave Sigren a first lesson in the freedoms they would have in communicating while they remained linked:

"You may of course speak out loud if you like, but you need not speak your thoughts for me to hear them," she said, in ways only the girl in front of her could hear.

"Oh!" Sigren replied, obviously embarrassed that she hadn't thought of this earlier.

"There is no need to be embarrassed, you are young and this is very confusing for you," she sent via the link. "You seem to feel that I have vast experience that you can barely imagine but in truth, I think we will have many things to learn from each other over the next many weeks," she thought to Sigren while trying to reinforce her words in ways impossible outside of the link. "I look forward to learning at least as much from you as you will from me," she said while pouring as much positive sentiment into Sigren's mind as she could.

"Um," Sigren thought, "how can that be when you're so much older than me?"

"It is possible because you have experiences of a world I have never been to along with desires and abilities that I do not," she reminded the Human teen. "I have also never been linked to another at the depth that we will come to know each other. Your heart, your spirit, and your sense of self are tremendous," she said, in order to build Sigren's sense of self. "They are what drove you to save me from a fate worse than death. I will take great joy in discovering how they developed in you over our time together," she told Sigren, meaning every word.

Much as she might have some insight into Sigren's mind and spirit, the Human girl's objection to her sentiments shouldn't have surprised Sithana as much as they did: "Anyone would have…" the teen's thoughts came through very loudly.

"No, Sigren," Sithana murmured forcefully across the link, and aloud as well. "Most wouldn't—or couldn't—have. They would have stood aside, saying they couldn't change things or that helping me would be too hard or dangerous for them."

"Those few who had the skills to help might have, but no-one other than you saw and realized my danger in time. You did both, and because the kidnappers were able to distract C-SEC, only you could take the action that you took to save me."

"Do you know anything more about why they tried to take you?" Sigren asked, reminding Sithana of her own curiosity on this matter.

"We don't know for sure, all we know is that many high ranking Batarians have been acting very strangely for some time. We don't know why this is happening. I'm told that the STG thinks the Batarians don't know why either. In any case, we do know that many Asari who are known for their empathy or for the strength of their telepathy have been kidnapped from colonies throughout Asari space," was all Sithana could say, much as she wished she knew more herself.

After some thought on the matter she decided that it wouldn't hurt Sigren to tell her what little was known with respect to their situation in particular:

"Mine was the first attempted kidnapping on the citadel. I am told by Mistress Sha'ira that she and Counselor Tevos are afraid someone may try again. Particularly because the Batarians you killed were a highly ranked warlord and his favored son. The family is very angry even though their anger is badly misplaced. Their relatives after all, are the ones who started the sequence of events leading to their deaths."

"Whether their anger is misplaced or not, we will have to be protected from it for some time to come since I will be busy seeing for you and you won't be able to protect yourself from many forms of attack if we lose physical contact."

Sithana's awareness that she couldn't protect herself even when not seeing for Sigren didn't cross the barrier between their minds, but she knew it wouldn't take long for Sigren to realize that this was yet another reason that they would need protection.

"Oh, wow," Sigren said nervously. "I didn't realize how big of a deal this is."

"Yes, this is a very big deal," Sithana replied, knowing that to say anything less would be a lie—and a terrible injustice—to the being who had saved her.

Hands on both of their shoulders disrupted this first link.

"How do you feel?" asked Dr. Chakwas.

"OK," Sigren said, mirroring what Sithana had sensed in her mind. Fortunately, no pain was directly caused by this first link, even though Sigren was clearly still suffering from the effects of the Batarian's attack. Even with this factor to cloud her perceptions, Sithana was confident that there would be no pain from the connection itself for either of them. She was less sure about whether what they proposed to do using the link would cause pain or not.

After establishing that neither was in pain from the first connection, Dr. Chakwas turned to the next step in the process of helping Sigren on the road back to sight.

"Now that we know you can link without pain, the next step is to get baselines for your sensory input without the link, and then with Sithana linked to you. We need to understand what is going on in your brain now, and when Sithana is linked to you, and so a team of specialists and I will be using a variety of neural stimulation techniques to get a picture of what is happening in your brain without the link. Once that's done, Sithana will link to you and we'll go through the neural stimulation procedures again."

"Okay," Sigren said before asking a question that any scientist would have been able to answer right away, but that Sithana now knew a Human teenager in only her ninth year of schooling could not be expected to come up with on her own.

"Why do I have to have all of that done twice?"

"Because we need to see what is happening in your brain now to have a baseline for how your brain is working when you aren't linked to Sithana. We do that first and then take a look at what happens in your head when you're linked with her. We know that linking radically changes how Human and Asari brains work but because it usually happens when they are being intimate, we don't have a lot of data about what, exactly, is happening."

"Being intimate?"

"Having sex, dear."

"Oh!" Sigren said, flushing.

The girl's reaction told Sithana that there was, and should be, a vast difference between nearly 300-year-old Asari consorts and fifteen-year-old Humans with respect to comfort in discussing sexual contact.

Dr. Chakwas cleared her throat (reminding Sithana that Human adults also seemed to have issues in talking about sex that she did not), and continued:

"Because what you're doing is very different from a sexual bonding and it may last a long time, we need to understand what is going on in your brain to help you and Sithana manage any possible negative consequences like headaches for instance."

"Well, I've already got those," Sigren grumped.

"I know, dear." Karin said softly. "That Batarian device is a nasty piece of work and I'm not at all surprised you're still hurting. Please tell me when the pain gets too bad and I'll do what I can to help you with it."

"Okay, Doc." Sigren said. "They're not too bad now."

"Good."

"You should also tell me immediately if you have pain when we are linked," Sithana said. "I will be busy seeing for you. I will also try to avoid being so deeply in your mind that I would automatically know without your telling me if you have pain."

"How likely do you think headaches related to the link will be?" asked Hannah Shepard from where she sat on Sigren's right.

"We honestly don't know," said Dr. Chakwas. "What do you think, Sithana?"

This question had been the subject of a great deal of Sithana's thought and research in recent days. As a result, Sithana was relatively confident in her response:

"I would think at first headaches will be a near certainty. Sigren's mind perceives things differently and even though Asari are used to transferring images and knowledge to each other on a regular basis, Humans aren't evolved for mind links of any kind, particularly to a being whose visual processing and range of color perception are somewhat different than that in Humans."

"Since Sigren's cerebral cortex is being regrown and will have to be retrained it's even possible that, for the moment, she won't interpret the images I send her very well until the tissue is fully recovered in two or three days."

"Informational bonds can be tiring for both Human and Asari partners, and of course sexual connections tend to be very pleasurable for the participants in Human-Asari relationships. With something like this where the Asari is literally acting as the eyes for a Human? We have no knowledge."

"Hmmm," Sigren's parents said in near unison.

After a few moments' wait to see if her patient or her patient's parents would say any more, Dr. Chakwas introduced the neuropsychologist who Sithana would soon wish was the consulting psychological specialist on Sigren's case.

"Dr. Xia will be the one running the neural stimulation protocol. She is one of the best Human psychologists anywhere. She will be putting electrodes for a high resolution electroencephalograph on your scalp. She will use a conductive paste that helps the electrodes connect to the electrical activity in your brain. There are a lot of them, so she will need time to get you set up. Once that's done, she'll explain the procedure to you," Dr. Chakwas told Sigren.

"Okay," Sigren said with a sigh, obviously not looking forward to what would doubtless be an uncomfortable procedure.

* * *

Nearly 45 minutes, fifty sensors, and one headset later the neuropsychologist was ready to begin her tests.

"OK Ms. Shepard," she said in the deep, smooth tones it would take many years for Sithana to learn only a very few women of what the Humans called "Asian" descent could produce. Those who could would always remind her of this woman's kindness and professionalism to Sigren.

"I've got you set up. We'll literally be able to see activity down to the level of individual neurons in many areas of your brain. I'm going to use a wide variety of stimuli to get a baseline for how your brain is responding to sensory input. We'll use sounds, flashes of light, touch, taste and smell to determine how your visual cortex is being affected. We'll get data on how your other senses are responding, too. After I'm sure we've got good data, we'll then have Dr. Sithana link to you and we'll go through all of the tests again."

"I'm confused," Sigren said, raising her hand to stop the doctor before she could continue.

"About what?"

"Why are you using flashes of light when I can't see?"

"Because we know your skin can sense light in many ways. You feel some of it as heat, and you also respond to it in other ways that, even today, we still don't understand well. Broad spectrum light helps people in deep space stations remain healthy. Being exposed to light at certain times of day can help totally blind people remain on a proper 24-hour circadian rhythm, even though they can't see the sun. How that happens we're still not sure but we definitely know it's true."

Sithana was fascinated by this information. Asari skin was a great deal less responsive to light than Human. Instead Asari had a nearly unparalleled sensitivity to electrical fields, doubtless evolved to help them sense the biotic attacks that had been their primary method for hunting prey and killing rivals until the bow and arrow became the dominant offensive weapon on thessia some 35,000 years earlier.

As Sithana had told Sigren earlier, she was sure that there would be many months of fascination in the process of mutual discovery. Dr. Xia's comments more than proved this in Sithana's mind.

Sithana was pleased to discover that, in this instance at least, Sigren also seemed to be fascinated by this new knowledge.

"Huh, cool." Sigren said, obviously interested to hear that her skin could "see" light somehow.

"Definitely cool," the doctor agreed, a smile as apparent on her face as Sithana hoped it was clear in her voice.

The next forty-five minutes were filled with a barrage of sounds and sensations for Sigren. A loud noise on her left would be followed by a vibration from the stuffed animal she was asked to hold in her lap. Then her feet would be caressed by feathers followed by the taste of a shot of lemon juice into her partly open mouth. Then a truly unpleasant smell (that of an animal native to earth which Sithana thought was called a skank?) would be combined with the sound of waves on the seashore. At times Sigren was exposed to sounds, or touches or tastes or smells in series. At other times, stimuli were set to arrive with no stable pattern at all.

By the fortieth minute, Sithana could tell that Sigren was nearly exhausted by the continuous sensory influx.

"OK, we're done," Dr. Xia said to Sigren's obvious relief after the forty-five-minute series was complete.

"Now for the link tests."

Had she been a hundred years younger, Sithana would have laughed on seeing Sigren's horror at the thought of more tests.

"Do we have to, now?" the Human girl nearly groaned.

"We can give you a little time to rest," said Dr. Chakwas, "but the sooner we get this done the sooner we can see if your brain is ready for Sithana to visualize for you or whether you'll need a day or two more on medigel and the deep electro stimulus we've got your brain on to try to drive the cells in your visual cortex back to the conformation they had when you had your fine detail magnetic resonance scan series in prep for leaving Arcturus station last spring."

"I need a little bit to rest. I've got a hell of a headache," Sigren said quietly.

"May I try to help?" Sithana asked, hoping she could do something to reduce Sigren's suffering.

"Yeah," Sigren nearly groaned. "It's probably best for you to see what it's like in my head right now anyway."

Sithana's hands were soon in Sigren's own. Moments later, she was using relaxation techniques she had learned early in her healer's training to reduce the stress Sigren's badly overstimulated senses had exacerbated in her cranial vasculature and the outer layers of her brain. Sithana could literally feel Sigren's headache decreasing from what the teen would later say was a thirteen on a scale of ten to something Sithana came to learn Sigren would describe as probably about a four.

"How are you doing that?" Sigren asked thankfully via mind speech alone.

Along with the answer to Sigren's question, Sithana sent a wave of pleased approval in response to the teen's ability to use this newly learned skill so shortly after the neural stimulation and mapping tests.

"I'm using a modification of a type of Asari relaxation techniques to help let your brain come down from the very high level of processing that it has been doing to something closer to normal for you. Your headache is literally caused by a combination of too few nutrients in your brain and an electrochemical overstimulation that comes from your nerves firing too often. An electrolyte drink and half an hour's rest will have you close to where you were when we started this set of tests."

"Oh, goody." Sigren thought sarcastically.

Sithana let Sigren sense her gentle humor at this comment before she gave the young Human what comfort she could.

"I'll be with you this next time, and although I won't shield you, I will be talking with you and getting you accustomed to holding my hand while other inputs are coming in. I'll also be working to help you handle the inputs you are getting."

Knowing Sigren as she was beginning to, Sithana thought it necessary to warn her new friend that she, too, would likely suffer some from the forthcoming tests. "This will be hard on both of us so don't be surprised if you have the sense that I am also in some pain during the testing."

"OK," Sigren thought nervously. "I'm sorry this is going to hurt you."

Sithana decided to remind Sigren that this pain, at least, was her choice. "Better the pain I choose by helping you than the misery I would have faced with the Batarians."

Sithana sent an inquiring pulse across the link and, once she understood what the Asari wanted, Sigren, feeling no small amount of fear, called down the lightning.

"OK, let's do this."

With these words, the barrage of sensations began again, but this time Sithana was experiencing them both as herself and through Sigren's nervous system as well. She felt Sigren wonder if they would come in the same order as well as her thought that they weren't doing so. Sithana, of course, knew that Sigren was wrong in this, since they needed to make the circumstances as close as possible to the same—with the only new variable being the ongoing link.

Sithana could feel that Sigren felt that holding her hands was a powerful anchor to the world outside of the barrage. Unfortunately, as she had expected before the second wave of tests began, Sithana was soon suffering a terrible headache.

Sigren began struggling against her grip, clearly wishing to relieve her new friend of the agony she was going through.

"You must not let go," Sithana barked, shamed that she couldn't control her pain, and reactions, better.

"But you're hurting!"

"Yes, I am in pain," Sithana nearly growled, "but we will be done soon, and as I told you before, this is nothing compared to what would have happened to me if you hadn't stopped my kidnapping."

"But you're hurting!" Sigren repeated, horrified at the level of pain Sithana was allowing to come across the link.

"And I may be in far greater pain if the next many days aren't handled properly. We could both be killed, or worse, if we and the doctors, healers and my mistress don't know what we're doing! So allow me this pain now to ensure that no greater agony will come to both of us later," Sithana snapped, wishing that she had delayed today's tests by a day or two in order to get the rest she hadn't fully realized she needed after nearly four days of hard work to prepare for the procedure and equally great emotion where it, and its cause, were concerned.

Sigren, obviously chastened but still equally afraid and angry, seemed to recognize that she needed to hold the conversation for now.

Fortunately for both of them, the stimulation series ended shortly thereafter, allowing time to rest and regain some of their equilibrium that had been so badly disrupted by the tests.

"We have enough for now," Dr. Xia said softly, apparently knowing that both of her patients were in terrible pain. "I want both of you to get in lots of electrolytes and raw calories with lunch, and then we'll try to link you up and actually see if Sithana can see for Sigren."

Sithana, both exhausted by the tests and embarrassed by her inability to control the pain she had allowed Sigren to experience via their link, let the teenager speak for both of them. "Okay," Sigren said with a relieved sigh. "Only one question: Now that you've got me off the IV, how am I going to eat without making a total mess?"

This was Dr. chakwas' question to answer:

"For now, we'll have you eating mostly things like sandwiches that you can manage without using cutlery. If Sithana can actually see for you, you should be able to eat more or less as you did before."

Sithana didn't need a link to see that Sigren was relieved by Dr. Chakwas' words.

* * *

A/N: Even with these new interstitial segments being posted, I'm definitely still looking for a co-author with whom to progress beyond August 2170.


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